


It Was Just Like A Movie, It Was Just Like A Song

by freakingwriter2013 (orphan_account)



Series: When We Were Young [1]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Aftercare, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Dating, Dom/sub, Emotions, First Time, Fluff, Getting Together, Kink Negotiation, Light BDSM, Light Bondage, M/M, Mutual Pining, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-06
Updated: 2017-03-17
Packaged: 2018-09-28 17:03:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 37,174
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10140629
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/freakingwriter2013
Summary: In @one_golden_sun's Poly Gay Trio Modern AU, in which Alex and Laf meet in college and fall in love, and the emotions that come with it





	1. I Let It Fall, My Heart

**Author's Note:**

  * For [one_golden_sun](https://archiveofourown.org/users/one_golden_sun/gifts).



> Thanks to @one_golden_sun for letting me write in your universe and guiding me on the way

Alex was frantic, running around the lobby of his dorm building, carrying a clipboard.

“My pen! Where is my pen??” he shouted, alarming some random students walking by. “Jesus Christ, do I have to do everything by myself?” he grumbled to himself, as if the pen might be someone else’s responsibility other than his own.

“Hey, um, Alex?”

Alex turned around at the small voice. “WHAT?” he nearly shouted.

“It’s just that, um, your pen is in your hair, and you’re scaring freshman.”

“Oh, shit, sorry, Eliza, I didn’t meant to yell at you,” he replied awkwardly, pulling the pen out of his hair. “Today is so hectic, and I’m trying to make sure I get all of my paperwork in and that all of my residents show up. I’m just trying to do my job right because I really need the money.”

“I know, I know, but you’re not going to make any of your residents like you if you scare them away on their first day!” Eliza told him cheekily. “Go yell at a plant or something, you know, instead of freshman. Just keep reminding yourself, they’re just as scared of you as you are of them.”

“Thank you, Eliza,” he replied sarcastically, rolling his eyes and turning on his heels to go yell at somebody else, something else, really anything that might keep him from totally panicking about being responsible for twenty first-year students.

Alex spun on his heel only to ram face-first into what might have been a large rock, boulder, wall, possibly a tree, but that wasn’t possible because he was inside. He stumbled back and looked up to see what might have been the most beautiful person alive.

“Oh, uh, I’m so sorry,” he spluttered, embarrassed that he had made a fool of himself in front of the adonis of a man. “Wait, I haven’t seen you around. What floor are you an RA for?” figuring the giant could not be a freshman.

“Oh,” the stranger laughed. “I am a first year student. It is merely that I was having trouble with the floors, and I heard you yelling with a clipboard, so it seems like you might know what is going on. You see, I am from France, so the floors start at the lobby level, and then count from there going up, and I am having trouble finding my room,” the man replied.

“Oh, yeah, um, so, in the States, the lobby is the first floor, one floor up is the second floor, another is the third floor, and so on,” Alex squeaked. “I’m Alex, I am one of the RA’s, please let me know if you have any other questions, it was very nice meeting you,” Alex rambled, running off in the opposite direction with a cherry-red face to go haul a refrigerator or direct a parent to a room or anything that wasn’t embarrassing himself in front of other human beings.

***

“Angelica!” Alex shouted excitedly, meeting Angelica at the dining hall during his lunch break.

“How is my favorite upperclass-woman?” Alex asked flirtily.

“Well she’s not falling for that,” Angelica replied.

“You mean she’s not falling for that, _again_ ,” Alex replied saucily.

“She’s going to leave if you don’t quit,” Angelica said sternly.

“Point noted,” Alex responded, sliding back into an upright position after attempting to lean on the table suggestively. “How was your break?”

“It was good, spent a lot of time at the beach. Had that internship at The Times for a bit. Overall, it was pretty fun. And yours?”

“You know, same old, same old. Living with Herc, saving up some money for the year.”

“How has move-in day been?”

“Honestly, pretty hellish,” Alex replied. “It’s like the blind leading the blind with these barely adults running their parents around, and none of them know where they’re even going. Way too many people stopping to ask me really stupid questions, like where the residence halls are even though there are literally signs everywhere. You’d think they might be able to find it given their general ability of sight and reasoning.”

“Welcome to your life for the next year,” Angelica teased. “Meet anyone over the summer to keep you occupied that isn’t my sister?” she asked pointedly.

“No, I was pretty busy working. Oh! That reminds me. Angelica, I ran into the most beautiful human I think I’ve ever seen.”

“Alex, you think every human you ever see is beautiful.”

“That’s beside the point. He’s actually perfect. He got in here, so he must be at least somewhat smart -”

“- well you’re here,” Angelica interrupted him.

“Hey, don’t be rude, He’s so toned, I ran into him, and it actually hurt. And the man’s got a jawline of steel. And he’s French!” Alex chattered.

“There’s no way he can be that perfect, and the great Alexander Hamilton did not jump down his pants.”

“Angelica, he’s so pretty I want to cry.”

“Well then I must meet him to verify and see who has Alexander Hamilton’s flirting abilities disabled,” Angelica replied, winking at Alex, making him blush.

They rambled onto other subjects before Alex had to head back to the residence hall to help other students move in. Evening rolled around before Alex got a chance to look at his phone again, after hauling refrigerators, suitcases, boxes, etc. up the stairs for other freshman.

_72 notifications._

“What the fuck?” Alex asked himself, scrolling through many of the notifications. Some of them were messages from the Residential Director, making sure he fulfilled his responsibilities to the residents, turned in paperwork, and had the appropriate itinerary for the hall meeting.

A lot of them, however, were clear evidence of Angelica’s gossip.

_From Herc:_ I hear you roped yourself in another pretty boy.  
 _From Herc:_ When do I get to meet him.  
 _From Herc:_ Angie said he just stole your heart away  
 _From Herc:_ I can’t wait to hear all about him

_From Eliza:_ So, you got a new beau  
 _From Eliza:_ I hear he’s the perfect French specimen  
 _From Eliza:_ If you don’t keep him, can I have dibs?

Alex rolled his eyes. Of course, gossip spread faster than most STD’s in college.

_From Angie:_ Do you mind if I tell a few people?

_To Angie:_ : It’s a little late.

_From Ben Tallmadge:_ I miss you. Don’t go with the new guy, stay with me.

_To Angie:_ Okay, I get Herc and Eliza, but did you really have to tell my ex?

_From Angie:_ I didn’t text him, I just ran into him.

Alex blocked Ben’s number and tried to reign in the get-Alex-laid-by-Adonis campaign before the entire campus knew by sundown.

_To Herc:_ He’s just a guy I ran into, I haven’t roped him in or anything, don’t listen to Angie  
 _To Herc:_ Besides, don’t you have a hall meeting to run?

_To Eliza:_ I just ran into him. I don’t even know his name.  
 _To Eliza:_ Go run your hall meeting.  
 _To Eliza:_ Oh, and dibs.

Alex shut his phone back off and ran to his room to grab the roster for the students he was responsible for. He walked into the common area at the end of the hallway where many students were already gathered.

“Hey, everyone, my name is Alex, I will be your RA this year. The meeting is going to start in like five minutes, so if your roommate is not here, please go find them.”

Alex meandered to the front of the room, making home in a chair. He waited for the rest of his students to come in and settle in before starting.

“Hi everyone, for those of you that weren’t here a few minutes ago, my name is Alex, I am your RA for the year. I am a triple major in journalism, politics, and economics. I am a sophomore here at Columbia. Any question you may have with regards to residence life here at the university, I can either answer, or direct you to the appropriate person. We have a few things we have to go over tonight, but the first thing I’m going to do is take roll. Attendance to this meeting is mandatory, and you have to stay until the end to get your building sticker, otherwise you cannot enter this residence hall. If I pronounce your name wrong, please correct me, or if you prefer another name, please let me know. Okay.”

“Michelle Bagwell.”

“Here.”

“Jenny Chu.”

“Here.”

Alex droned through the list, correcting names where needed.

“Um, Gilbert du.. Motier, um, Marquis de -” He never finished the sentence.

“That would be Marie-Joseph Paul Yves Roch Gilbert du Motier, Marquis de Lafayette, but you can call me Lafayette or Laf,” a melodic voice sounded.

Alex looked up to see the beautiful man he ran headfirst into earlier and spent the whole day fantasizing about, and he gulped. _He was fucked._

Pretty boy was his resident. _Pretty boy was his resident._ The man he had spent the entire day thinking about, fantasizing about, hoping his dick might be proportional to his height, was his resident.

Alex gulped and continued to do roll call. He got to the bottom of his list and initialed that everyone was there.

“Um, okay, so we have ice-breakers!” he said enthusiastically, and the entire room groaned.

“I know, I know, but my boss said I have to and you guys need to get to know each other. You are each other’s biggest resource for these next four years, so knowing people in the same sinking canoe as you will be paramount to your success here. Now, is everyone familiar with two truths and a lie right?”

***

Alex droned on for the next twenty minutes about various dorm policies before announcing, “Okay, everyone, just come grab your building stickers and sign next to your name on the roster to indicate that you got it, and you’re free to leave!”

Everyone rushed to the front of the room to escape as soon as possible, but Lafayette hung back.

“Um, Lafayette? Right?” Alex asked, as if he hadn’t memorized his name the second he found out that Lafayette was the beautiful man he had run into. 

“Yes, but my friends call me Laf,” he replied, winking. “Become more than friends, and well, we shall see.”

Alex, not thinking through the opportunity at hand, responded, “I’m not your friend, I’m your RA.” He cringed as he saw the look that crossed Laf’s eyes, kind of like a kicked puppy with his tail tucked between his legs. “But we can be friends!” Alex exclaimed, trying to fix his mess. “In fact, it’s my job to be one of your friends here.” He realized that that sounded a little fake, so he chose to shut his mouth instead of rambling further.

“Okay,” Laf replied.

“Okay?”

“Okay, you shall call me Laf, or we shall see,” Laf told him, flirting shamelessly. He walked out the door, swinging his hips a little more than necessary. Alex gulped. Resisting him was going to be difficult.

***

Alex was sitting in his dorm with his door open in case his residents had any questions. He was dicking around on his laptop, flipping through three different Facebook tabs, fighting three different arguments at once. And trying to find a one Lafayette and his entire life story on the site.

He glanced up as he saw motion in the hallway to see none other than Lafayette walking towards the bathroom in a towel. He tried to ignore it and go back to writing his next post, but Lafayette walk into his doorway and knocked on the frame.

“Hello, Alexander,” he greeted.

Alex slammed his laptop shut. “Hey, uh, Laf right?” he asked, trying to act nonchalant.

“You tell me what you want to call me,” he replied, winking.

“What can I do for you?” Alexander asked, trying not to blatantly stare at Lafayette’s pristine figure.

“In France, it is that the hot water is on the right and the cold water is on the left, and I wanted to make sure that Americans did indeed have it backwards before I was in for a rude awakening,” Lafayette replied.

“Oh, of course, yeah, you’re going to want to turn the knob all the way to the left for hot water,” Alex responded. Laf’s towel slid down, exposing his prominent v-line. Alex’s break hitched in his throat, and he shifted his laptop to cover his growing erection.

“I am very glad I can always come come to you for help, Alexander,” Lafayette said demurely, strutting down the hallway and leaving Alex sitting in his room, dumbstruck.

“Jesus Christ” Alex mumbled to himself.

He awkwardly walked over to shut his door, supposing if a resident really needed something they could knock. He unzipped his pants and laid out on his bed, pushing his pants and boxers down and pulling out his cock.

He wrapped his hand around his cock and stroked himself to full hardness. He pulled his other hand down to caress his balls. He rubbed the palm of his hand at the head of his cock, picturing a certain Frenchman touching him instead. He bit his lip as he spent into his hand, regretting that he hadn’t had the foresight to take off his shirt before he came on it.

He wiped his hand on the shirt and pulled the shirt off and tossed it into his hamper. He pulled up his pants, put on a fresh shirt, and reopened his door for other residents to come by. He reopened his laptop and returned to his tasks, a repetition of _he’s your resident, he’s your resident, he’s your resident_ running through his head.

***


	2. You Rose To Claim It

Alex was keyed up for his first week of classes, knowing that the nineteen hours he was taking was going to make for a tough semester. He ventured out of his dorm, bright and early Monday morning to head to his first class, some random intro course for his politics major. His first class ran like any other class during the first week of classes: roll call, syllabus, expectations, etc. His professor released them from classes early, so he had time to stop by the campus coffee shop to grab coffee before his next class.

He walked in the shop to stand in line with all of the other students who had the same idea as him. He made his way up to the front of the line and ordered his quad-shot Americano, paid for the coffee, and moved off towards the other end of the bar to pick up his drink.

Alex checked his phone as he was walking to the end of the bar. He ran completely into another person, once again. He mumbled, “m’sorry,” and then went to move around the person.

“Oh, hello Alex!” Lafayette said enthusiastically, beaming from ear to ear.

“Oh, Laf! Hey!” Alex replied, switching his phone off and turning around to talk to him. “How was your first class?

“It was not very good,” Lafayette answered.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Alex replied. “What class was it?”

“Introduction to comparative politics,” Laf responded. “I already know I will not do well.”

“I took that class last year,” Alex recalled. “Who do you have for it?”

“I have Kettering? Do you know him?”

“Kettering? Yeah, he’s a menace, unfortunately,” Alex lamented.

The barista yelled out, “I have a quad-shot Americano for Alex!”

“That’s me,” Alex told Laf. “Hey, listen, I took that class last year and did pretty well in it, so if you have any questions, just let me know! I would love to help out! I gotta run to class, but just shoot me a text, okay?”

“That would be wonderful. Thank you, Alexander,” Laf said flirtily.

“Of course, anytime!” Alex replied. He grabbed his drink from the bar and hurried out, wondering what he had gotten himself into.

***

_Knock, knock, knock._

“Coming!” Alex responded to the knock on his door. He left his desk and walked over to the door, flinging it open. “Hey, Laf! What’s up?” he asked, seeing Lafayette standing there with his backpack flung over his shoulder and laptop tucked under his arm.

“I just got out of class for the day.”

“Oh yeah? How was it?” Alex asked.

“Not very good? I am very confused by my first lecture.”

“The comparative politics?”

“Uh, yes.” 

“Oh, I took that last year with the same professor and did pretty well, if you need any help with it let me know!”

“Oh, thank you so much! I think this class will be my only class that is particularly difficult, though.”

“That's good, what are your other classes?”

“Um, introduction to yoga, studio art management, and French 101.”

Alex laughed, “You're taking beginner’s French? You grew up in France!”

“And therein lies the genius,” Laf replied, coyly.

Alex chuckled at him, mildly mystified by Laf’s seeming lack of motivation or ambition other than the actual experience of going to college itself.

“But anyway,” Laf continued, “I was wondering if you had a minute to help me out with the comparative politics.” He finished the sentence with a questioning tone, hoping Alex would take him up on the offer.

Alex backed away from the door, “Yeah of course! I would love to!” He held the door open for Laf to come into his room. He straightened out the duvet on his bed and patted it, indicating for Laf to sit there, grabbing his laptop from the desk on the way. He and Laf piled into the bed, leaning back against the wall, laptops and books in laps.

“So what is it you need help with?” Alex asked, pulling up his notes from the previous semester. Laf began to explain his difficulties with the course, and Alex stared at him like a puppy. He began to explain the technical background for the topics they would be covering for the semester in plain English and even a bit of French so that Laf would understand. Laf stared at Alex, entranced by how passionate he was about the subject. He was immediately smitten with Alex’s evident passion and drive. He blinked a couple of times before he realized that Alex was asking him a question.

“Um, what was that?” he asked, cursing himself for not paying attention.

“Oh, I was just asking if you wanted to make this a regular thing,” Alex explained.

“I definitely would want to infringe on your time, I know you are a student as well, so you are very busy,” Laf said, nervously grabbing at the hem of his shirt.

“Laf!” Alex interjected, “I would be more than happy to help you out, I actually like spending time with you,” he stammered. Alex turned beet-red as he continued to stumble over his words.

“Oh, um, thank you very much,” Laf told him, “I would be happy to spend more time with you.” He scooted closer to Alex and bumped his shoulder against Alex’s. “We should get back to studying, yes?”

Alex reciprocated by moving closer to Laf, their shoulders bumping together as they both looked at Alex’s laptop. He resisted the urge to rest his head against Alex’s shoulder.

It wasn’t until later that Laf realized he absorbed none of the information Alex was telling him because he was way too busy staring at Alex rather than paying attention to what he was saying. Laf walked back to his dorm after he left Alex’s. 

He realized _he had a crush on his RA_. He opened his door and walked across the small dorm, and collapsing face-first on his bed. He knew he was definitely fucked. The minute he tried to pull out some of his work, he was lost in the thought of Alex. He was lost his dark eyes, definitely brown but strongly resembling a beautiful ink. He was captivated in Alex’s intellect. He definitely thought Alex was beautiful physically, but he had never met anyone so intriguing and passionate about what they do.

He groaned into his pillow when he realized he had become hard thinking about Alex. This couldn’t be happening. He couldn’t have a crush on his RA. He had the entire campus of Columbia that he could fuck. Hell, if he was ambitious he could probably fuck half of New York. Being with an RA was messy, it opened up room in his life for more drama than he wanted. He was of the belief that a little bit of drama was entertaining, healthy even. But it seemed that Alex was one of his closest friends he had made at school, and he would’ve hated to lose that friendship.

His thoughts didn’t let his erection subside. There was something about sneaking around, about the fact that it was forbidden, that was definitely turning him on. He rolled over on the bed onto his back, sitting up quickly to ensure that his roommate was not around. He unbuttoned his pants and pulled out his cock into his hand.

He looked down, biting his lip. His cock was flushed red, steadily dripping precome at the tip. He wrapped his hand around it, making careful, steady strokes from base to tip. He closed his eyes and imagined Alex, kneeling over him, his mouth wrapped around his cock, pleasuring him. He rubbed a single finger delicately over the head of his cock, picturing Alex lave his tongue, swirling it around his slit, teasing him, leaving kitten licks on his head until he finally grabbed his hair and ordered him to stop teasing him and give him a real blow job.

He wrapped both hands around his cock in a tight hold, picturing Alex deep-throating him, his throat fluttering around the head of his cock and his lips wrapped around the base, nose nearly touching the tuft of hair he kept neatly trimmed at the base of his cock. He gasped, moaning “Alex,” as he came into his hand, luckily missing the sheets and mattress. He cleaned himself off with a tissue and tucked his cock back into his pants. He sat up and pulled his laptop out, beginning to work on the first of his schoolwork. He tried to push Alex out of his mind and made an unsuccessful attempt to forget the possibility of being in a relationship. He was definitely smitten.

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, come say hi/yell at me on tumblr @writerfreak2013


	3. You've Got Your Head In The Clouds

Alex was looking at his roster of residents. As a part of a new “residential life integration program,” Alex was required to give a small token of celebration to each of his residents on their birthdays. Looking on the roster, he realized that Lafayette’s birthday was the next day. Normally he would just grab a candy bar from the dining hall and leave it in their mailbox, but Laf definitely deserved more than a candy bar as far as he was concerned. He found a French bakery nearby, looking up the hours to make sure he could go there before classes in the morning.

***

Alex dropped by the bakery the next morning, picking up some fresh Madeleines and a rosewater cupcake, tied in a box to deliver to Laf. In person, of course.

He made his way back to the dorm hoping to catch Laf as he came back from his yoga class. Luckily he bumped into Laf in the hallway, about to knock on his door.

Laf looked down to see a flustered Alex holding bakery boxes. “You know you seem to run into me a lot,” he said, smiling down at Alex.

“Um, yeah, strangely that doesn’t happen with other people,” Alex muttered. “It’s like it was meant to be,” he said more brightly. “Well, not exactly meant to be, not to say that like we’re meant to be or anything. Sorry, I was just trying to make a joke and I didn’t mean to make it awkward or suggestive. Wow, now this is just really awkward.”

Laf laughed at Alex’s awkwardness. “No worries, mon ami. What is it you wanted?”

“Oh, well, uh, it’s your birthday so I went to the bakery and grabbed some madeleines and a cupcake for you. So yeah, um, Happy Birthday! Welcome to adulthood,” Alex stammered.

“Thank you, Alexander,” Laf said genuinely. 

“Of course,” Alex replied easily. “Listen, I have to go to class, but let me know if you want to hang out later!”

Laf agreed and walked into his room as Alex went to his first class.

***

Alex had a very long day. He had rather unwisely scheduled all of his lectures for Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays with recitations on Tuesdays and Thursdays, so he was slammed with back to back classes for the day. After spending all day in class and the entire evening hogging old books in the library, he headed back to the dorm, exhausted and ready to collapse in bed and perhaps watch a movie with Laf.

Unfortunately, when he knocked on Laf’s door, he did not find the happily, bubbly freshman he was smitten with, but a loud, drunk, stumbly Lafayette.

‘Um, hey, Laf,” Alex started, leaving more of a question than a greeting.

“Alexsshhhhhh!” Laf greeted loudly. “Mon ami! You are here!”

Alex stated more seriously, worried about Laf, “Laf.”

“Laf… Laugh… Laffy Taffy…” Laf slurred, not really answering any of Alex’s unasked, yet obvious questions.

“How much did you drink?” Alex asked, slipping into responsible-RA mode.

“Well, you see, I started this morning before class, and I have taken a shot for every year that I have been alive. And I think I made it to um, eleven? Ten? Maybe?” Laf said, stumbling over his words.

Alex, concerned for Laf, ushered him back into the room, following closely and shutting the door. Laf was entirely too loud and entirely too drunk for regular hours.

“Oh, mon ami, we sssshhhould go out!” Laf shouted, unreasonably loudly.

Alex replied crisply, “No, Laf, we should not.”

“But Alexanderrrrrrrrr,” Laf whined.

Alex, becoming frustrated very quickly, snapped, “No, Laf, you’re drunk. We are _not_ going out, and you’re lucky I’m not reporting you for having alcohol. You know it’s illegal in the United States. Now, sit down, and drink this water.” He shoved a bottle of water in Laf’s directions and pushed the pliant man down unto the bed. Laf went down surprisingly easily for someone of his size and stubbornness. “Stay right here,” Alex commanded.

“Is that an order?” Laf smarted off.

“Yes, that’s an order,” Alex replied tersely.

“Ooh, kinky,” Laf joked.

If Alex didn’t like Laf so much, he would have been fuming. “Not now, Laf,” He muttered. He walked out of the room, leaving the door unlocked, carrying the remaining alcohol out with him. He walked down to the bathroom at the end of the hallway and poured it out in the sink, mumbling angrily to himself. He was supposed to have had a relaxing night, but now he was responsible for the drunk man he had a huge crush on. After a long day, it wasn’t really what he wanted to do. He ventured back to Laf’s dorm, stopping by his own to grab some Advil and Gatorade to bring to Laf. He got back into Laf’s room, and luckily, Laf had not wandered off.

“Alexander!” Laf nearly shouted, “You are back! Mon ami, I thought you were going to be gone forever, and I missed you!”

Alex patronized him before uncapping the Advil and Gatorade. He passed Laf the pills and the open bottle. “Here, take these,” he ordered. Laf swallowed the pills dutifully, drinking some of the Gatorade with it. “Good job, now lay down on your side.”

“I cannot do that.”

“And why not?” Alex questioned, exasperated.

“Because I am not in my sleep clothes,” Laf answered, seemingly logical for how drunk he actually was.

Alex, hoping to get Laf into something resembling sleep, began to yank open drawers in an attempt to find some clothes for Laf to wear to bed. The first thing he found was a pair of yoga pants and a tank top, so he pulled those out and set them in front of Laf. “Here. Get dressed,” he requested.

Laf began to try to pull of his shirt, but it wasn’t long before he was tangled in his shirt, making muffled yelps as he got stuck. “Help!”

“Jesus Christ,” Alex muttered, beginning to help Laf untangle himself from the overly complicated shirt he was wearing. By the time he got the shirt off, they were both breathing heavier with the exertion. Alex got a good look at Laf, and his breath caught in his throat. Damn, the man was pretty. He had beautifully sculpted abs. His shoulders were well defined, leading to perfectly shaped biceps and triceps. Those led to his forearms that had perfect veins running down to his hands, which Alex wished were wrapped around his waist or digging into his ass. “Put your shirt on,” he mumbled. Laf pulled the shirt off the stack Alex gave him and began to try and get his arms and head through the right holes, but he was failing miserably.

“Help!” Laf exclaimed for the second time that night. Alex helped Laf pull the shirt over his head, getting his arms through the sleeves and his head through the larger hole in the middle. Laf enthusiastically pulled down his pants on his own, pulling off both his ridiculously tight jeans and his boxer briefs with them. Alex wanted to avert his eyes, but he was not a perfect man. He looked down briefly before glancing away, giving an utterly shocked look at the size of Laf. Laf was soft, and he was already ridiculously impressed.

“C’mon, you just have to put on your pants now,” he asked. He turned around to give Laf some privacy, thinking there was no possible way for Laf to fuck that up. He was wrong.

Laf was making frustrated pants and groans, before Alex finally turned around to see Laf standing in his yoga leggings, both legs stuck together in one pant leg. Alex couldn’t help himself. He laughed. He leaned over and peeled the yoga pants off of Laf. Before he could instruct Laf to stick one leg up so he could put the pants on properly, Laf was inappropriately flirting.

“Oh, are you trying to undress me, mon chou?” Laf asked sordidly.

“No, Laf,” Alex replied, electing to ignore Laf’s pet name. “I’m trying to get you dressed, believe it or not. Pick up your leg.”

“What if I do not want to be dressed?” Laf flirted.

“That’s too bad because I’m in charge.”

“Oh, mon chou, this is an interesting change. Usually I am the one in charge when I am in bed.”

“Well you’re not in bed, and I’m not sleeping with you,” Alex said, kicking himself at having to turn down Laf. But there was no way he could take advantage of him while he was drunk.

“Can I tell you a secret?” Laf asked, giggling to himself.

“What, Laf?” Alex groaned, hoping there wasn’t more alcohol anywhere else or anything he would have to report to his boss.

“I have a secret.” Laf continually giggled. Alex hadn’t expected Laf to be a giggly drunk, and he probably would have found it funny had he not had such a long day.

Alex tersely responded, “Yeah, I gathered.”

“Do you want to know the secret?” Laf asked, seeming like he was attempting to be flirty.

“Sure, Laf.”

“I.” He wavered in Alex’s hold, trying to get one leg through the yoga pants. “I, have a huge crush on this guy.” He regained his balance after he placed his foot on the floor.

Alex turned his head in surprise. He didn’t want to make any assumptions about anyone’s gender or sexuality, but he was surprised. “That’s great, Laf,” he bitterly replied.

“Do you want to know who it is?”

“Not really,” he muttered. It wasn’t that he had a chance with Laf, he was his RA after all. But he didn’t want to know who Laf had a crush on because it probably wasn’t him. The man was like Adonis. There was no way it was him.

“Can I tell you anyway?” he asked.

Knowing there was no way he was going to leave the room without the information, Alex submitted to Laf’s request, going, “Fine, who is it?”

“It is my residential adviser,” Laf nodded truthfully.

“Your who?” Alex squeaked.

“My residential adviser.” Laf answered.

“Laf, I’m your residential adviser.”

“That you are.” Laf slipped and lost his balance as he tried to get his second leg in the second hole in the pants, ridiculously falling onto the bed. Alex would have laughed had he not just been dumbfounded by Laf’s information. There was no possible way his crush could be reciprocated. It couldn’t be him. Somehow, Laf’s reciprocity all the sudden made it way more difficult to resist his desire to be with him. He would have to work double-time to make sure he didn’t drift the line between friends and more than friends.

“Laf, stand up,” Alex requested awkwardly, not sure how to act in response to Laf’s confession. Laf quickly obeyed, standing back up and letting Alex pull the other leg up over his leg and pull the pants all the way up to his hips. Alex was nearly salivating with the image of Laf in yoga pants, but he definitely couldn't take advantage of Laf like that. “Will you lie in bed for me?” Alex asked, attempting to get Laf into bed so he could go relax.

“I will lie in bed _with_ you,” Laf smirked, winking at Alex.

Alex sighed. He wanted nothing more than to accept Laf’s offer, but Laf was drunk, and on top of that, he was Laf’s RA and he could have been easily fired. “Laf, no. I can’t. I won’t.”

“But you should,” he flirted. He sat down on the bed and pulled Alex on top of him.

“Laf, what are you doing?” Alex said, exasperated.

Laf pulled Alex into a kiss, pressing their lips together. Alex found himself actually surprised at how gentle Laf was despite his drunkenness. Alex leaned into the kiss, kissing back before coming to his senses and pulling away.

“I’m going to go now,” he stuttered. He set the bottle of water on Laf’s night stand and left the room as quickly as possible.

***

“Angelica, you wouldn’t even believe how drunk he was. On a Wednesday,” Alex whined, walking with Angelica to their first class on Thursday.

Angelica laughed at him. “Alex, I know you don’t remember, but there were many times last year I had to pull your hair back so you wouldn’t get puke in it.”

“I know, but like he _just_ turned eighteen. Yesterday!” Alex exclaimed, not really sure why Angelica wasn’t getting his point.

“Give him a break, Alex. You know every other freshman does this. You’re only freaking out because you have a crush on him.”

“Fine,” Alex grumbled. Why did he even bother? Angelica always called him out on his bullshit. “I'll see you at lunch, yeah?”

“Of course!” Angelica replied, splitting away from Alex to head to her class.

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come yell at me on tumblr @writerfreak2013


	4. There’s A Side To You, That I Never Knew

The Monday after Laf’s drunken fiasco, Alex ran into Laf at the coffeeshop once again.

“Hey, stranger,” Alex said, kind-heartedly. He was still angry at Laf, but he knew Laf wasn’t the only person to ever get piss drunk on a Wednesday and need someone else to take care of them. Not to mention the fact that he had done it on more than one occasion himself.

“Hello, Alexander,” Laf replied smoothly.

“I haven’t seen you in a bit, what’s up with you?” Alex asked.

“Not much,” Laf answered shortly. Before Alex could interrupt with another question, he added, “Um, I wanted to tell you that I am sorry for my actions the other night and that you had to take care of me while I was drunk. It was inappropriate of me.”

“It’s okay, I would have never left you to fend for yourself. But, Laf?” Alex paused waiting to make sure he had Laf’s full attention. “Drinking like that, especially by yourself, is very dangerous. You could have died of alcohol poisoning, and no one would have been wiser.”

“I know. Thank you for looking out for me. It shall not happen again,” Laf told him. Laf stepped up to the counter to order. “Hello, I would like a frozen white chocolate mocha with peppermint syrup and extra whipped cream.” Alex looked horrified. “And I will also pay for whatever he is having,” he said, pointing a thumb in Alex’s direction. 

“Oh that's okay,” Alex said, leaning around Laf’s body towards the cashier. “I can get my own.”

“No, consider it a thank you for the other night.”

“Laf, I already told you, you don't have to thank me.”

The cashier looked between them, confused as to how to proceed. “Get him a quad-shot Americano,” Laf instructed, pulling out his wallet and handing her his card.

“Thanks,” Alex grumbled.

“Now that I have you, how do you say, buttered up, is there any chance you could help me with comparative politics after you finish classes today? We are doing game theory and I am afraid I do not understand it whatsoever,” Laf said, smiling in a way that Alex simply could not resist.

“Laf, you don’t have to buy me coffee for me to help you out,” Alex told him. “Plus, anytime I can spend time with you is great.” Alex blushed at his word vomit. “But anyway…. Um, what the fuck is that drink you call coffee?”

“What?!” Laf asked. “It is very good, you should try it!” They called out his drink, and he went up to grab it. He stuck the straw in and handed it to Alex. “Here. Taste.”

For no other reason than to satisfy Laf, Alex took a sip from the drink, grimacing at the sweetness. “No. No. No. That is just wrong. There is no reason that coffee should even taste like that. Ever.”

“Well I think a little sweetness can go a long way,” Laf said, winking. Alex blushed at the double entendre.

Before Alex could surmise a response, they called out his drink. “Well, that’s me. I gotta go to class, but come by later, okay?”

“Of course!” Laf responded, staying in the coffee shop to do homework while Alex left for class.

***

_Knock, knock, knock._

“Oh, shit,” Alex mumbled, pulling back from the girl he was currently in bed with. He forgot he was supposed to be helping Laf in the afternoon. He sat up from where he was lying on the bed eating her out. “Listen, Brittany, I’m gonna have to ask you to leave.”

“It’s Bridgette,” she spit. “Are you fucking kidding me?”

“Yeah, um, I forgot I had an appointment.”

“Are you sure there aren’t other _more important_ things you might remember? Like my name?”

“Yeah, sorry about that. I’ll call you?” he tried.

“Fuck off,” she spat, opening the door and bursting out of the room, blowing by a bewildered Laf.

“Uh, you seem busy right now, I shall come back later?” Laf said uncertainly.

Alex was furiously pulling a shirt back on, trying to be more decent than he was a mere minute earlier. “No! Come in! I’ll just call her back later.”

“You need to shower,” Laf said pointedly. “I will just come back later.”

“Oh, okay,” Alex replied dejectedly, wandering around his room to attempt to find his towels and shower caddy. Laf had interrupted what was sure to be a great time, and he didn’t even get to spend time with him after that.

***

Alex didn’t hear from Laf for the rest of the evening, so he sat in his room, getting ahead on the reading for his economics class. He heard a commotion in his hall and stepped out to investigate.

The sounds seemed to be coming from a one Monsieur de Lafayette’s room, and it was particularly loud moaning. Even though Alex had no claim to Laf, he knocked on the door.

“RA on duty!” he announced, hitting the door again.

Lafayette answered the door, appearing drunk and annoyed. “What.”

“There’s a lot of noise coming to your room, and we’ve been getting noise complaints,” Alex lied.

“Fine. We will keep it down,” Laf responded, going to shut the door.

Alex stuck his foot in before Laf could shut the door. “Is your guest a Columbia student?” Alex asked, even though he didn’t have to.

“No,” Laf replied, trying to get him to leave.

“Then I will need to see their guest pass for the security of the building.”

“He does not have one.”

“Well, I am afraid, then, that I have to ask you to escort him out.”

“Or what?” Laf challenged.

“Or, I will have to write you up, and you will face disciplinary action,” Alex retorted.

“Fine,” Laf hissed. He turned back into the room, “Roberto, you need to go now.”

“What? Why?” Alex heard, muffled through the door.

“My RA,” Laf looked at him, “is being an asshole.”

“Okay,” Roberto sighed. The door opened wider and a small, olive-skinned, long-haired Latino man stepped out.

“Sorry, dorm policy,” Alex told him, rolling his eyes in a way that let Roberto know that Alex wasn’t kicking him out just because of dorm policy.

Laf walked Roberto to the elevator before turning around and walking back to Alex. “What the fuck was that for?” Laf asked, looking at Alex with anger that Alex had yet to witness.

Alex replied nonchalantly, “You were breaking dorm policies, and it’s my job to enforce them.”

“Like hell it was. You do not own me, Alexander. If it had been any other resident you would not have done a thing,” Laf said, nearly shouting.

“You can’t just go fucking around drunk, Laf!” Alex exclaimed. The argument had turned personal. “It’s not even safe, you can’t consent, and you don’t know these assholes from some random guy on the street. Where did you even pick him up?”

“A club,” Laf scoffed, “not that it is any of your business. I see the girls that come in and out of your room, Alexander. Do not play me for the fool here.”

“Well at least I know them. You’re just fucking around with any little boytoy that will say yes to you, God knows where they’re from!”

“I saw you earlier, I know you did not know her name! You are being a fucking hypocrite.”

“That is different, Laf, and you know it. I was exploring a genuine connection with a classmate, you’re just whoring around to whomever says yes at the drop of a hat.”

“Fuck you,” Laf seethed, and slammed the door in his face.

Alex knew he had made a mistake.

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The tumblr is @writerfreak2013, yell there


	5. Where Worlds Collide And Days Are Dark

Alex stumbled into his room. He was buzzed, not drunk enough to be out of touch with reality but drunk enough to not give a single shit. He pulled a guy through his door and shut it quickly behind him. Samuel, Samson, Straughn, he didn’t know. He didn’t have a single other idea besides the fact that getting a good fuck out of his system would get Laf out of his mind.

The man in question, Scott, Steven, Seth… he still wasn’t sure, was a tall, muscular, dark-skinned man. Years later, Alex would swear up and down that this man did not look one bit like Laf, but anyone else would say otherwise. He pushed Spencer, Shane, Santiago into the door, falling to his knees and unbuckling his pants.

“Oh, so that’s how this is going to go,” Not-Laf smirked. Alex tried to ignore him and elected to pull his cock out of his pants instead. “You’re a quiet one aren’t you,” he said, stroking Alex’s hair beneath him. Alex picked up his hand and pushed it off. “Oh, you’re feisty,” Not-Laf said.

“Just hold onto the door or something,” Alex suggested, not really giving a shit what Shay, (possibly Sterling?) did, other than not touching him.

“Whatever,” Not-Laf replied. Alex licked his lips and began to lick up and down the stranger’s shaft. “Are you gonna blow me or just pussyfoot around?” Not-Laf sneered.

“Fine,” Alex scoffed, wrapping his lips around the head of what’s-his-name’s dick. There were a lot of things he was bad at, but sucking cock wasn’t one of them. He blew Sean like a pro, taking his come down his throat and swallowing like he was supposed to. Stanley pulled him up to his feet.

“So, can I return the favor?” he asked, turning his head and smirking in a way that reminded Alex a little too much of Laf. 

“Yeah, that’s fine,” Alex replied. He shoved his pants down just enough to pull his cock out, essentially handing it over to the man who had sunk to his knees… Sebastian? He was too buzzed to remember.

“What? Blowing me didn’t do it for you?” Not-Laf teased, looking at Alex’s still-soft cock.

“It’s probably the liquor,” Alex said lamely. Not-Laf toyed with his cock, trying to get him hard, but Alex’s cock just didn’t seem to be in the mood. “You should probably just go,” Alex told him, shyly pulling up his pants and pushing the man away.

“Whatever, man,” Not-Laf said. “Thanks for the blowjob.” He wiped his mouth and left the room, leaving a frustrated Alex standing in the doorway.

Alex collapsed onto his bed. This wasn’t good.

***

Laf was mad. He undoubtedly had a crush on Alex, but Alex was thoroughly pissing him off. Laf couldn’t believe that he had the nerve to turn him down, to not date him, but them act like he had a say in who Laf spent time with.

His anger burned like fire in his veins as he drank it away in a club off campus. He just wanted to fuck someone. Hard. 

That opportunity came in the form of a woman who approached him, a tall 5’10”. She had red hair and blue eyes, a straight-as-a-rod figure. She was everything Alexander wasn’t. Perfect.

He turned to her. “May I buy you a drink, mademoiselle?” She giggled delightfully as he grabbed her hand and kissed her knuckles.

“You’re French!” she said, with a gleam in her eye. “Why don’t I tell you about the time I spent backpacking across Europe over the summer.”

“I would be delighted,” Laf answered smoothly. He turned to the bar. “A scotch for me, something top shelf, and a Vodka Collins for…”

“Gabrielle,” she filled in.

“Gabrielle,” he answered, smiling charmingly. “Make sure it is Chopin. Only the best for a beautiful woman like you,” he winked.

Twenty minutes later, their drinks were empty and they were occupying a stall of the men’s room. Laf had her against the door, fucking into her while she held on.

“Fuck,” he whispered. He couldn’t get Alex out of his head. He was fucking the antithesis of Alex, and he couldn’t get him out of his head. Gabrielle could feel him soften inside her.

“No, no, baby,” she simpered, dragging a single finger nail across his cheek. “What is it baby?”

“I just, I, uh… I cannot,” he stuttered, pulling out and setting her down. “Apologies, it must be the alcohol.” He zipped himself up and looked up to see a flabbergasted and upset Gabrielle.

“So that’s it then?” she scoffed.

“I am afraid so. Shall I walk you out?” he asked, bending his arm out for her to grab.

“I don’t think so,” she replied, flicking open the stall door and stalked out. Laf waited a few moments and then followed out, leaving the club and going home.

As soon as he got back to his dorm room, he collapsed into his bed, and his mind began to roam. Going soft while actually in someone had never happened to him. God, what was it about Alex that he couldn’t get out of his mind? He thought about it. It was his shapely body, the slimmer hips and bubble butt that he fawned over. His lips that looked like they were begging to be bitten and bruised. It wasn’t just the physicality. Alexander was smart, and motivated. He was compassionate and willing to lend a helping hand whenever Laf asked. Alex believed that if he worked hard enough, he could change the world with a pen instead of a fist, and Laf found something beautiful in that. _Oh, that’s what kept him hard._ He looked over to see that his roommate wasn’t there.

He bucked his hips up above the mattress and pulled off his pants and boxers in one swift motion. He wrapped his hand around his cock, pulling from base to tip, bringing himself to full hardness. He closed his eyes and began to thrust his hand back and forth. He was picturing Alex’s mouth, or even better, Alex’s hole. That kept him going. He imagined it wasn’t his hand, but Alex riding him, his hole clenching around him, Alex whimpering as he pounded into him, Alex trembling in sensation, falling apart on his cock. Laf moaned, “Alexander,” as he came into his hand. He wished they weren’t so mad at each other.

***

Alex was standing in the door of his room, trying but not succeeding to get his latest conquest out the door.

“Yeah, Jenna, it was great. Yeah, of course, I’ll call you,” he reassured her, completely lying.

“How about we see each other on Friday?” she flirted.

“Yeah, maybe, I’ll call you,” he said shortly, trying to get her to _leave_. She leaned in for another kiss, and it was that moment that Laf chose to walk down the hallway. He tried to push her out the door, a little more forcefully. “Okay, I’ll see you later! Goodbye!” he said, faking cheer.

Finally getting the hint, she stepped out of his doorway and headed down the hallway to the elevator, reeking of their previous activities.

“Laf--” Alex tried to catch his attention, to explain himself, but he was interrupted by Laf.

“Save it,” Laf told him angrily, walking into his room and shutting the door behind him.

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @writerfreak2013, you know the drill


	6. I Heard You’ve Been Missing Me

Laf received a message in his inbox. He clicked it open to read:

_Dear residents,_

_It is that time of year in which I am required by my job to meet with you for 20-30 minutes to discuss how you are adjusting to Columbia. Trust me, I don’t want to do this just as much as you don’t want to do this, but my job depends on it, and you aren’t allowed to register for classes for the spring semester until you meet with me. A sign-up sheet will be on my door. Please sign up for a slot, or email me if none of those times work for you. I look forward to getting this over with with each of you._

_Best,  
Alex_

Laf meandered over to Alex’s door, hoping he wouldn’t have to see him. He was in luck. He quickly scrawled his name at the absolute last slot available and slinked back to his room, annoyed with the prospect of being required to meet with Alex.

***

_Knock, knock, knock._

Alex gulped. He had done the rest of his RA meetings, but this was his last and easily most nerve wracking meeting. He swung open the door. “Laf!” he said brightly, feigning calmness.

“Well, at least it is not ‘Lafayette,’” Laf mumbled.

“What?” Alex asked, not catching whatever Laf had said.

Laf didn’t care to repeat himself. “It is nothing, we shall get this over with, yes?”

“Uh, sure,” Alex replied. He looked around his room. “Just sit wherever.” Laf sat uncomfortably at the desk chair as Alex sat in the chair he had dragged in from the common area. “So, um, let’s get started. I have been asked to go over basic drug and alcohol awareness with you at the beginning of the meeting.”

“Seriously?” Laf said, giving a clear indication that he didn’t actually care.

“Laf, you of all people need this. I’ve caught you drunk on more than one occasion, one time you more than likely had alcohol poisoning. Not to mention that you are underage here in the states.”

“Yes, but--”

“No ‘buts,’ Laf. You could easily harm yourself if you aren’t careful.”

“Fine,” Laf grumbled. If he had to listen to it, he would.

“So I guess what I should say first is that you are legally not allowed to possess or consume alcohol under the age of twenty-one in the United States, but we here at Columbia understand that you may not always follow that rule, and we want to make sure that you are safe if you choose not to follow that rule. The first step is to plan ahead. Know your limits and have a general plan of how much you want to drink, and make sure you eat some food before you drink. Um, also be aware of unfamiliar drinks, we wish it didn’t happen, but people do still roofie people. Drink slowly and keep track of how much you’re drinking. Be careful of what you combine, alcohol and drugs don’t mix. I think that pretty much covers it. Do you have any questions?”

“No,” Laf replied, not having any of his shit.

“Okay, good,” Alex replied. “So how are you adjusting to Columbia?”

“I believe that I am doing fine,” he answered nonchalantly.

Alex continued pressing. “Are you enjoying your classes?”

“They are fine.” Laf looked down, beginning to examine his fingernails. He really needed to file them.

“Are you actually going to answer any of my questions with a real answer?”

“I just do not really see why this is necessary.”

Alex groaned loudly. “Laf, you know this is because it’s my job.”

“Well you could just act like you are better than the other Residential Assistants and say that all of your residents are supremely happy. Thinking you are above people seems to be how you operate,” Laf scathed.

Alex sighed, sinking into his seat. The energy was drained from him. He would usually fight back, say anything to win an argument, but he couldn’t anymore. “Can we just get through these questions?”

“Fine,” Laf muttered, leaning back in the chair.

“Do you feel safe in Columbia and the surrounding area?”

“Yes,” Laf replied.

“Do you feel like you are making friends and adjusting well to the social atmosphere here?”

“Is that even a real question?” Laf scoffed. “This is not even necessary.”

“Just answer the question, Laf,” Alex sighed.

“Fine. Yes, I am adjusting well to the social atmosphere here,” he said, his tone making it clear that he didn’t actually care.

“Are you aware that the health center stocks supplies for safe sex, such as free condoms, lube, dental dams, and other items?” Alex asked, his face burning red at the question.

“Is that a real question?” Laf asked, rolling his eyes.

“Laf,” Alex replied shortly. “I don’t want to fight.” The dam had finally broken, and Alex was tired of fighting, of holding everything back.

“Well, you have made it very clear that you do not think very highly of me or my choices, so I do not really see why we have to sit here and act chummy.”

“I miss you,” Alex said, looking up and catching his eyes.

Laf looked up, seeming defeated. “I do not want to feel like you think so lowly of me, and I cannot be friends with you if you do really think the things you said.”

“Laf, I don’t, I really don’t. When I saw you with that guy, I was hurt. I was angry that you seemed to be moving on to someone else. I was angry that you blew off our plans--”

“--well you blew them off first,” Laf interrupted.

“I know, I know,” Alex answered. “I know I blew our plans off first, but I was upset, and you were there with that other guy, and I’m competitive, so I said what I had to in order to win the argument. I know it was hurtful, and I’m sorry I said it, and I need you to know that that isn’t what I think of you.”

“If that is not what you think, then why did you even say it? What do you even think?” Laf asked, wanting to know what Alex actually wanted out of this.

“I said those things because I was hurt, and I’m sorry. I think you’re great, I think you’re funny and smart. I think you are bubbly and bright, and that can be refreshing when I’m feeling dark and pessimistic. I think these last few weeks have been painful and I miss you. I think I want to date you and be with you, but it frustrates me that I can’t since I’m your RA. That’s all the truth. What else do you want from me?”

“Alexander, if all of those things are truthful, then I appreciate the apology, but you cannot possibly think that I can wait around for you not to be an RA, and not see anyone in the meantime. I want to be friends with you, but I cannot do that if there is a looming uncertainty on whether or not we will ever be together,” Laf answered, leaning forward but making no move to touch him.

“Trust me, I know that. And my jealousy isn’t your problem. It’s mine. But I want us to be friends, and I’ll try to do better. No, I won’t even try, I promise, I’ll do better. I just can’t walk around and not be able to say ‘hi’ to you and grab coffee with you and ‘tutor’ you even when I know you don’t need it.”

“Okay,” Laf agreed.

“Okay?” Alex asked, wondering exactly what he meant.

“Okay, I will think about it.” Laf got up and walked out the door, leaving a confused Alex.

***

_Knock, knock, knock._

Alex swung open the door, revealing Laf. Laf pushed him inside, shutting the door behind him. He pulled Alex to him, catching him in a searing kiss and wrapping his arms around him, Alex melted into him, but Laf was quick to pull back.

“I decided,” Laf told him.

“You decided.” Alex said, leaving room for him to elaborate.

“I want to be friends. I do not want to fight. I just needed to do that before it was off the table.”

“Friends?” Alex asked.

“Friends.” Laf answered. He pressed a gentle kiss to Alex’s head, pulling back and stepping away. He walked out the door as quick as he came.

Alex smiled. All seemed right.

***


	7. You Made My Heart Melt

“Hey, Laf!” Alex said, meeting Laf in the coffee shop that had become their routine.

“Mon chou,” Laf greeted, handing Alex his quad-shot Americano.

“Is this a new thing? You trying new French terms of endearment every time you see me?” Alex asked. “Yesterday was ‘mon chaton’, the other day it was ‘ma puce’, or that time you called me ‘mon plaisir quotidien’?”

“I think ‘mon chou’ is a great one to settle on. It is perfect,” Laf remarked, testing the name out in different tones.

“You know it’s a lot less endearing when I actually know French.”

“Yes, but you can just pretend you do not,” Laf teased, bumping Alex’s shoulder.

They were back. It felt good.

***

“Oh god, Times Square? Laf, all of that is just complete tourist bullshit. It’s so gross there! And you can’t get anywhere because tourists won’t move the fuck out of the way!” Alex exclaimed. The conversation had started with their favorite coffee shops that they had found in the city, and one thing led to another, and they were stuck on tourist locations.

“Tourist does not necessarily mean bad,” Laf replied passionately. “Think about it, the Eiffel Tower is simply magnifique, and it is the most tourist thing in Paris! Or the Louvre! It is quite spectacular, but it is surrounded by tourists all the time! Do you not think those are great?”

“I wouldn’t know, I’ve never been,” Alex answered through a mouth full of food.

“Oh, well we must go sometime! Paris is just lovely in the summer! But that is not the point. You have to admit that there is something magical about the lights of Times Square!”

“You’re right,” Alex smirked. “There is nothing quite as magical as trash, the smell of urine, and light pollution.”

“Fiiinneee,” Laf groaned. “Times Square might not be your thing. But what about the Statue of Liberty? You cannot just write off a monument of your history just because it is a tourist destination!”

“That, I also wouldn’t know. Never been there either.”

“Oh, we must go!” Laf exclaimed.

“Just admit it Laf, you only want to go because you have a boner for everything French,” Alex joked.

They bantered until the coffee shop closed.

***

“What?! You’ve never seen Star Wars?” Alex nearly yelled, looking like Laf had personally killed his first born and slaughtered his entire family in front of him.

“No? It never got big in France,” Laf replied, bewildered.

“Never got big in France! Laf, it was big everywhere! We have to watch it. All of them, in a marathon, one sitting. That’s what we’ll do sometime soon.”

***

_Knock, knock, knock._

Alex swung the door open, not even giving Laf a proper greeting before sliding back into the seat where he was staring at his laptop. “You’re late!” he shouted.

“I just do not understand what the big deal is, mon chou,” Laf responded.

Alex looked like he was going to pull his hair out. “The big deal? The big deal! Laf! These are the classes you’ll be taking in the spring! If you don’t register for the right ones or get the right time slots, you could be set back an entire semester for your degree. This is one of the most important things you’ll do every semester!”

“Alexander, I do not think that this is that big of a deal. Plus, I am still undecided,” Laf replied, still not quite understanding Alex’s obsessiveness.

“Oh right, undecided. What classes are you registering for next semester?” Alex asked.

“Um, Comparative French Literature--”

Alex snorted. Laf elected to ignore him.

“Also, Yoga II, Introduction to Interior Design, Introduction to Early Childhood Development, and that seminar Dr. Spraker is doing, The History and Fashion of Wedding Dresses, I think it is called?..” he listed.

Alex nearly shook with laughter. “Laf, what the fuck are you planning on majoring in? Gay domesticity?”

“I do not yet know,” Laf flaunted. “I would like to try many things.”

Alex looked at him with wonder in his eyes. “I will never understand you.”

***

“Mon chou!” Laf greeted, meeting Alex at the coffee shop. “There is this new gastropub we must try!”

“Uh, yay?” Alex answered, not really sure how excited he was supposed to be.

“No, mon chou, you do not understand! They have free-range chicken burgers with kimchi slaw and wheatgrass buns!”

“Yay?” Alex didn’t really know what to add.

“Oh! And Enchanted! We shall go see Enchanted! It just came out, and it is a Disney Princess film, we must watch it,” Laf added excitedly.

Now _that_ , Alex could get behind. “Yeah of course! Want to go do that on Friday?”

“That would be perfect! I shall make the reservation,” Laf responded, immediately pulling out his laptop to find the number for the restaurant.

“It’s a date!” Alex exclaimed. “Well, not a date, but an event, in which we will go out as friends. Just friends,” he stuttered awkwardly.

“Alright,” Laf chuckled. “A friend date.”

“Yeah, a friend date,” Alex smiled fondly.

***

The end of October and the beginning of November brought a cold that Alex couldn’t seem to shake.

_Knock, knock, knock._

“Come in,” Alex groaned from the place he was curled up in his bed. He had powered through the week, and finally crashed sometime late Friday evening. By Saturday morning, he felt like death.

“Mon chou!” Laf said, way too excited for the condition Alex was in.

“Shhhhh,” Alex hissed. His head was positively throbbing.

“Oh,” Laf whispered, quieting immediately. “I knew you were sick, so I went to the grocery. I grabbed some cold and flu medicine, crackers, tissues, and soup from that place you like up on 102nd Street.”

“Thank you,” Alex rasped, sitting up so he could take some of the Nyquil and eat some of the soup. He took the Nyquil in a very similar manner as to how he would take a shot, then wiped his mouth and grimaced at the taste. “Soup,” he requested. He wanted to get rid of the disgusting medicine flavor as soon as possible.

Laf removed the lid from the soup before handing it over to Alex with a spoon. While Alex ate the soup, Laf tidied the room that had become messy over the last week since Alex didn’t have the energy to clean it. Once Alex was done, he patted the bed next to him, indicating that he wanted Laf to sit down. “Oh, I also bought a box set of all of the Star Wars movies, if you are feeling up to watching those,” Laf added.

Alex looked a combination of muted and excited. “I would love to, but I really just want to crash for like eight hours,” Alex responded hoarsely.

“Of course,” Laf replied, and he got up to leave Alex alone so he could sleep.

“No, stay,” Alex encouraged, making grabby hands at Laf. “I’m cold, and I want to hug you. You’re warm,” Alex answered. That was an offer that Laf couldn’t refuse. Alex might have been snotty and stuffy and all-around pretty ill, but Laf could not resist the opportunity to lay in bed with Alex and have an excuse to cuddle. Alex continued to sit up, waiting for Alex to settle in the bed on his back. Once Laf quit squirming, Alex curled up next to him, laying his head on Laf’s shoulder and wrapping his arms around his torso. “Thank you,” Alex murmured.

“You are very welcome,” Laf replied, kissing the top of Alex’s head.

***

“So what are your plans for the break?” Laf asked, later that afternoon when Alex seemed to be returning to normal.

“Oh, I’ll be in Albany with Eliza and Angelica. Their parents invited me up this year.”

“That is wonderful, mon chou,” Laf replied. “It should be nice to get out of the city for a bit.”

“Yeah, definitely,” Alex agreed. “What are you doing for the break?”

“I think I will just be staying here. I do not have friends here in the states, and France does not celebrate Thanksgiving,” Laf replied, seeming glum.

The cogs in Alex’s brain began to turn.

***

The Star Wars movies got their use the next weekend when everyone at Columbia was snowed in. Alex had walked into Laf’s dorm, spitting and seething and covered in snow.

“Did you know I’ve lived here since I was eight?” Alex spat.

“Um no?” Laf replied. “Why?”

“Because you would think that after 10+ years of this shit, I might actually be used to it. But noooo, my stupid Caribbean sensibilities keep me from functioning in snow.”

“It will be okay,” Laf soothed, trying to get Alex to calm down.

“It will not be okay! It’s snowing!” Alex groaned melodramatically. “I fucking hate the snow.”

“I can see that,” Laf replied sardonically. “But it is Friday, and that is something to celebrate.”

“What’s there to celebrate? We can’t even do anything this weekend because of the snow,” Alex grumbled.

“We could marathon Star Wars since we did not get to do it last week,” Laf replied enthusiastically. Alex perked back up. “We should move to your room, since my roommate is due to be back at any minute. I will meet you in your room in a few?” Laf asked.

“Yeah! Sure!” Alex replied, heading out the door and heading to his own room to put on some pajamas for their movie marathon.

_Knock, knock, knock._

Alex went to the door and let in an irresistible-looking Laf, dressed comfortably in his yoga clothing. Alex gave him a quick lookover before reminding himself that Laf was off limits.

Laf pulled the DVD’s out of his bag and set them on the bed, crawling into the bed and leaning up against the wall. He pulled his laptop out and inserted the disk while Alex settled in beside him. They weren’t even halfway into the first movie by the time they were dozed off on each other.

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @writerfreak2013 - my tumblr, come say hi


	8. Let Me Photograph You In This Light

Alex stumbled out of his room at eight in the morning on Thanksgiving Day, his body not quite off the early classes schedule yet. He blindly made his way to the bathroom, doing everything possible to avoid the harsh brightness of the hallway lights.

Reminiscent of his first encounter with Lafayette, Alex ran straight into the brick wall of a man. Alex startled back, looking up to see the easy smile of the man who had become his best friend in such a short time.

“Good morning,” Alex grumbled, not having hand his morning coffee. He tried to brush Laf off, knowing he would understand, but Laf stopped him.

“I thought you were to go to Albany with the Schuyler sisters,” Laf questioned.

“I was, but I figured, people were kind enough to welcome my mother and I into their home for our first Thanksgiving in the States, so I wanted to extend the same courtesy to you,” Alex answered, smiling kindly. He didn’t have to mention that he was madly in love with his best friend that he thought definitely didn’t reciprocate his feelings. Not after everything that had happened.

Laf replied easily, “Well I hope the holiday is as enjoyable as I hear. I shall let you go take care of things and get your coffee. I will text you later?” he questioned.

“Yeah of course, see you later, Laf,” he said, brushing by to go to the bathroom.

***

Alex walked back from the bathroom squinting in pain. God, he really needed to get a hold on his caffeine issues. Bright lights that early in the morning shouldn’t have been painful, but there he was.

He got to his door, running into a warm hard mass of muscle instead of the cool wood.

“You know, you seem to do that a lot,” Laf teased.

“What?” Alex asked, rubbing his eyes bleerily.

“Running into me.”

“Yeah, you’re just in my way a lot,” Alex laughed. “What are you doing?”

Laf brushed Alex’s chin, pushing his gaze up, and Alex winced. “I ran to get you coffee from the place down the street that you like while you were in the shower. An extra shot of espresso, for what seems to be a growing headache.”

Alex smiled at Laf. “Thank you so much, you are actually my favorite person right now.” He grabbed the coffee cup and practically inhaled its contents. He pulled back with a sated sigh. “Let’s meet at 7:30, yeah?”

“That would be lovely,” Laf smiled back, charmingly. “In your room?”

“Yeah, I’ll see you there!” He gave Laf a friendly tap on the shoulder before walking into his room and collapsing back into his bed. He groaned loudly. He didn’t have the money to make it a really nice Thanksgiving dinner, and even though he and Laf were only friends, it still needed to be special.

***

After confirming what time they would meet to eat Thanksgiving dinner, Lafayette texted Hercules in a near panic.

_To Hercules:_ Hercules, I am having dinner with Alexander for Thanksgiving.

_From Hercules:_ yeeeeaaahhhhh, go get ‘em

_To Hercules:_ Strictly platonically.  
 _To Hercules:_ But regardless, are there any customs I should adhere to? This is my first Thanksgiving in the US.

_From Hercules:_ Just show up, he’ll be happy to see you regardless

Hercules, thinking he could have some fun playing the puppetmaster of the group, decided to send off another text. Knowing Lafayette would go completely over the top with anything he suggested. 

_From Hercules:_ Actually, traditionally if Americans are spending Thanksgiving with a foreigner, the foreigner must bring the American a nice gift

_To Hercules:_ Is our Alexander not a foreigner as well?

_From Hercules:_ He’s lived here long enough

_To Hercules:_ Alright, I will find something perfect for mon chou.

_From Hercules:_ I’m sure you will

***

Lafayette knocked on Alex’s door at precisely 7:30pm, gift bag in hand. Alex opened the door, revealing what he had set up for Thanksgiving dinner: some takeout Indian food consisting of curry puffs, tandoori chicken, buckets of rice and samosas, a large picnic blanket in the middle of his floor, and Christmas lights strung around the room.

“I know it’s not much, but I wanted it to be special since it’s your first real Thanksgiving,” Alex said quietly, trying not to let on his true feelings.

“It is perfect, mon chou,” Laf responded.

“So, whatcha got there?” Alex asked, looking towards the gift bag with tissue paper and ribbon spilling out of it.

“Oh, this,” Laf said, handing Alex the bag. Alex looked at him questioningly. “Hercules told me that it was customary for foreigners to give gifts to their American hosts,” he explained.

“I really appreciate it, Laf,” Alex said genuinely, “but I should probably tell you that Herc was yanking your leg.”

“Yanking my leg?” Lafayette asked, looking confused.

“He was joking with you,” Alex told him, grinning. “Don’t worry about it, let’s eat.”

“Do you want to open it?” Laf asked.

“Oh, of course!” Alex replied enthusiastically, pulling the abundance of ribbon and tissue paper Laf had artfully put together. Alex looked into the bag to see a rather large, crystal cabbage sitting inside. Like an actual crystal figurine cut into cabbage form, glittering off the Christmas lights.

“It's a cabbage, because, you know, I call you ‘mon chou’ all the time,” Laf replied awkwardly.

“Yeah, I figured,” Alex laughed. “It's gorgeous. I love it!” He attempted to act nonchalant at how cute he actually thought the gift was. He placed it on a shelf on his desk and turned to Laf, “Let’s eat!” He sat cross-cross on the floor and began to open food containers. He scooted over, making room for Laf on the blanket. They dug into the food, chattering about their schedules and the few weeks of hell coming up before they could be free for the winter holidays. They took heart in the fact that they would both actually be staying in New York for Christmas that year.

Alex looked around his room and thought that there wasn't a place he'd rather be right now. He looked at Lafayette with stars in his eyes, knowing that even as he lounged around in his sweatpants and oversized glasses with Lafayette in similarly informal attire, he was completely helpless for the freshman.

“I can't do this anymore,” Alex said abruptly.

“You cannot do what anymore?” Laf asked, scared that Alex didn't want to be friends anymore if they couldn't be together.

“I can't sit here and act like we're friends when I want to be more than that, and I know you want to be more than that too,” Alex said in a rush, looking unsure of himself. 

“Okay,” Laf said, measured.

“Okay what?”

“Okay, get the fuck over here. I want you.” Laf replied.

Alex dropped the samosa he was holding on one of his plates and jumped into Lafayette’s lap, straddling his hips and pressing his lips to Laf’s. Lafayette’s purposeful kiss was better than Alex could have imagined. When he was drunk, he kissed sloppily, but when he was sober, he kissed with intention. Lafayette nipped at Alex’s lips until Alex conceded, and he slipped his tongue into Alex’s mouth. He ran his hands up and down Alex’s back before sliding them under Alex’s shirt and feeling the bare skin there. Getting tired of having to pull up Alex’s shirt, Lafayette pulled the shirt up and off of him, rejoining their lips. He gripped Alex tightly around the waist and pulled him closer.

“Your shirt,” Alex mumbled, only pulling millimeters back from Laf, “take it off.” He tugged at the hem of Laf’s shirt, and Laf pulled it up over his head. Alex immediately placed his hands back on Laf, running them up and down the carefully crafted muscle. “Jesus Christ, Laf, you’re so fucking beautiful,” Alex whispered, looking at every detail and line of muscle on him. Laf dodged Alex’s return attack on his mouth and began planting kisses down Alex’s jaw line instead. He found the spot between the edge of Alex’s jaw and his ear, and he sucked a bright mark there, growling “mine” into Alex’s ear. Alex leaned his head back to allow Lafayette more access to his neck, and he rolled his hips into Laf’s, letting Lafayette feel how hard he was. He moaned as Lafayette rolled his hips back and felt Laf’s cock straining through his boxers.

Lafayette pulled away from Alex. “Hop up,” Laf told him, tapping his hip.

Alex leaned back away from Laf. “Oh, do you not want to? That’s fine, we don’t have to do anything you’re not comfortable with,” Alex replied hurriedly, hoping he hadn’t crossed any boundaries.

“I would love to, mon chou, but we need condoms and lube, and I do not want to fuck you in your floor,” Laf replied easily. “Now get up. Where do you keep your condoms?”

Alex shuffled out of Laf’s lap. “I’m out of both condoms and lube.”

“Both?” Laf asked, looking at Alex pointedly.

“What? I ran out of condoms, and I wasn’t fucking any guys because I didn’t want to have to think about you, so I have no lube.” He turned a bright shade of red. He didn’t usually like to admit to the guys he was into that he had been pining over them so much that he wouldn’t even fuck other guys. “But that doesn’t matter, we can go to your room instead.”

“I do not have any lube or condoms either,” Laf said.

“Seriously? With the sounds I hear coming out of your room on an almost daily basis?” Alex asked, skeptically. He tried not to sound ridiculously jealous, but Laf’s partners were _loud_.

Lafayette smirked, “You would be amazed what I can do with my mouth.”

Alex salivated at the thought. “While that all sounds very interesting, and like something I can’t wait to experience, that does not solve our immediate issue.” He stood there silent, thinking hard enough that Laf could practically here cogs whirring in his brain. “I guess we don’t have to fuck each other tonight, we can just do hand stuff,” Alex said quickly, pulling off his sweatpants.

“Put those back on, mon chou,” Lafayette commanded.

“What? Why!” Alex protested.

“We are going to go buy condoms and lube.”

“But Laaaafff, it’s so cold outside,” Alex whined. “And I really really really want to fuck you. Like there are not words to described how much I want to become intimately familiar with your cock.”

“I know, mon chou, but trust me, once I get you into that bed, we will not be leaving it for the rest of the weekend,” he declared, voice getting lower and lower as the sentence carried on.

“Right, yep, okay, agreed,” Alex said, pulling his sweatpants back on and grabbing his jacket. “Ready whenever you are.”

Lafayette grabbed his hand, and they walked out the door together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @writerfreak2013 you get the drill


	9. Screaming Out Your Name, Your Name

They exited the dorm building and walked briskly towards the CVS right off campus. They held hands the whole way there, knocking into each other’s shoulders. Everything was fresh. New. Exciting. They wandered into the CVS, lucky that it was mostly empty because of the holiday, and made their way back to the ‘family planning’ aisle.

Laf pulled Alex to him, practically upright spooning him, holding his back close to his chest. Alex wiggled back a little, impressed with Laf’s size even through his sweatpants. He couldn’t wait to get his cock inside him.

“Christ, Laf,” Alex exclaimed. “Did you go down at all in the cold?”

Laf replied saucily, “It is difficult to go down when you are waiting to fuck a man as gorgeous as yourself.”

Alex sighed into the charm, turning towards the collection of condoms and lube that the CVS had to offer. They looked at the selection before Laf began to pluck items from across the shelf. “Laf, what are you doing?” Alex asked incredulously. Laf grabbed enough items that they wouldn’t have to leave the room for weeks.

“I told you that we would not be leaving the bed for days,” Laf smirked.

Alex looked at it cynically, “That’s still a lot.”

“I am very ambitious,” Laf replied sardonically. Alex snorted. Only a man taking yoga classes at Columbia would call himself ambitious in such an unironic way. He still gave Laf a skeptical look. “We can just come back and buy more if we need to.”

“Trust me, we will be using all of them before they expire,” Laf promised. Alex, wanting to get back quickly, figured he could agree with that logic. Nothing stopped the thrill from running up Alex’s spine at Laf’s commitment though. He was prepared to spend the rest of the break in bed, only getting up to eat or go to the bathroom. He wanted to be intimately familiar with Laf’s cock by the time classes resumed Monday morning.

They made their way to the cashier who gave them a knowing grin, quickly scanning the items and placing them in the bag. “That’ll be $24.63,” the cashier told them.

Alex went to grab for his wallet before Laf swatted his hand away, pulling out an American Express Black card. Alex just had to look away. He knew Laf was loaded, but that didn’t make him any more comfortable with what he felt like was mooching off of him. “I have got it, mon chou,” Laf told him quietly, placing his hand on the small of his back.

“I will get it next time,” Alex grumbled.

Laf agreed, “Okay, sounds like a deal.” Laf signed the receipt as Alex grabbed the bag from the cashier. He swooped the ‘e’ with a flourish before practically tossing the pen back to the cashier and dragging Alex out of the CVS. They nearly sprinted back to the dorm, hand in hand, overly impatient to fuck.

As soon as the elevator doors to their building shut, Laf had Alex cornered into the wall, catching him in a bruising kiss. They stayed like that, exploring each other’s mouths until the elevator doors reopened. “Your room or mine?” Alex asked breathlessly.

“Yours. My roommate is supposed to be back early on Saturday, and I do not want to leave your bed until Monday morning,” Laf replied. Alex quickly agreed, strutting over to his door and unlocking it, Laf following quickly behind. Laf shut the door behind him and immediately pulled Alex to him, pressing their chests together.

“I would prefer to top tonight, is that okay with you?” Laf asked.

“Oh thank god, that’s what I hoped,” Alex exclaimed, dropping the CVS bag in the floor and running his fingers through Laf’s hair. He pulled Laf down for a kiss, and Laf wrapped his arms around his waist. Their lips crashed together with increased fervor, and Alex let Laf take the lead, Laf pushing his tongue past Alex’s lips and into his mouth, pulling a moan out from him. Alex thrusted his hips against Laf, letting Laf feel how hard he was through his sweatpants.

“Someone is eager,” Laf teased, peeling Alex out of his coat and dropping the coat unceremoniously to the floor.

Alex pulled away from Laf, dropping his hands to Laf’s waist and tugging at the fabric bunched up there, indicating to Laf that he wanted it off. “I don’t think you understand. I’ve been wanting to do this since I ran into you on move-in day.”

“I understand more than you know,” Laf rumbled, heeding Alex’s grabby demands and pulling off his sweatshirt and long sleeve t-shirt in one move. Alex marvelled at Laf. His defined jaw. His broad shoulders and bulging biceps. His perfectly carved pecs and chiseled abs. Laf’s sweatpants were riding low, so Alex could clearly see the V his hips made.

“Jesus fuck,” he muttered, running his hand over Laf’s abs. Laf leaned into Alex’s touch, warmed at the fact that Alex looked at him like a treasure to behold rather than a piece of meat to fuck. “You’re fucking gorgeous.”

“I know,” Laf smirked.

Alex snorted at his overconfidence, choosing to grab him and pull him closer rather than scoff at his arrogance. There was something attractive about a man who was confident in himself and his body. How did he land a man that beautiful that could also quote Star Wars at him just before sex? Tired of standing, Alex pulled Laf towards the bed, laying down and pulling Laf on top of him. Laf eagerly followed, leaning over Alex and pressing their lips together.

“I do not think I could ever tire of kissing you, mon chou,” he murmured, pecking down Alex’s jaw line and beginning to suck a bright mark into the pulse point just below it. Alex leaned his head back into the pillow, moaning and giving Laf more access. Laf ran his hands up under Alex’s shirt, running his fingers over the open plane of Alex’s skin, delighting in the goosebumps he raised there. Laf broke away from Alex’s neck, quickly pulling his t-shirt up over his head and tossing it to the floor. He resumed his assault on Alex’s neck, lightly dragging his nails up and down Alex’s torso, causing him to shudder beneath him. Alex groaned as Laf sucked a mark into his collarbone. It was a good thing they didn’t have class for several days because those bruises were not going away anytime soon.

“Laf, please hurry,” Alex urged breathlessly, rolling his hips into Laf’s. Laf ground down in response, and Alex gasped.

Laf crooked his fingers in the waistband of Alex’s sweatpants, pulling them down over his hips, pulling them over his ankles. Alex carefully kicked them off, happy to be nearly naked under Laf. Laf shimmied out of his sweatpants, tossing them on the ground beside Alex’s.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Laf asked, looking for any sign of hesitation.

“Absolutely,” Alex said unequivocally. “Are you?”

“God, yes,” Laf moaned, grinding their hips together and capturing Alex in a searing kiss. He pulled Alex’s boxers down, his cock bobbing in the free air. He examined it carefully while Alex squirmed under him self-consciously. Alex began to blush, wishing Laf might say something to break the silence settled over the room. He couldn’t be sure he wouldn’t say something totally embarrassing if he spoke first. Laf came through. “Oh, mon chou, you are quite beautiful.” Alex sighed in contentment as Laf rubbed his hands up and down Alex’s thighs. He wrapped a hand around Alex’s cock, stroking him to full hardness.

“Are you sure you want me to fuck you? We have all weekend to get to that,” Laf asked, looking earnestly into Alex’s eyes, watching for anything that would give a hint of uncertainty or hesitation. “I could not bear to hurt you, and I would be perfectly happy to just cuddle you or use my mouth or hand to bring you pleasure.”

Alex shook his head at Laf’s suggestion, “Laf, I don’t think I could wait any longer to get your cock in me.” Laf shook his head in acknowledgement, giggling at Alex’s overeagerness.

Laf pushed himself off of Alex and leaned off the side of the bed, rummaging through the CVS bag to retrieve the lube they had bought. He found it and leaned back onto the bed. Alex spread his legs, placing his ankles apart and letting his knees fall to either side of his body, leaving himself open and vulnerable to Laf. Laf settled between his knees, uncapping the lube and spreading some across his fingers. He gently rubbed the lube over Alex’s hole, teasing the rim, gently stroking his perineum. Alex trembled under his touch as he slipped a single finger in.

Laf reveled in Alex’s warmth. “Mon chou, you are so tight.” Laf pushed a second finger in beside the first, searching, probing. Alex keened and thrust his hips up. Bingo. “I found it,” Laf giggled fiendishly, rubbing the pads of his fingers into Alex’s prostate. Alex gasped and rolled his hips under Laf’s ministrations. Man, it had been a while since Alex had been fucked.

“God, Laf, give me another,” Alex pleaded, and Laf obliged, slipping in a third finger among his other two. He began to scissor his fingers, opening Alex up while Alex writhed underneath him. Laf held Alex open with his free hand, stroking his thumb across the inside of Alex’s thigh. He leaned over, placing kisses around the area where his cock was laying, sucking a deep purple bruise where his hip protruded from his skin. “Laf, I’m ready,” Alex moaned, needy, desperate. Laf pulled his hand out of Alex, rubbing his lube-covered fingers onto the sheets. It didn’t matter, they were going to have to change them before the weekend was over anyway.

Alex got up, and Laf looked at him confused. “Can I ride you?” Alex asked, answering Laf’s unasked question.

“Oh, of course,” Laf replied eagerly. Laf rolled on the condom he had grabbed from the box. He went to grab the lube, but Alex grabbed his wrist.

“No, let me,” he told Laf, taking the lube from him. Alex squeezed some lube into his hand and began to stroke Laf from base to tip, thoroughly coating him in lube. He threw a leg over Laf’s hip, straddling him and lining his cock up with his hole. Alex was about to sink down before Laf sat up abruptly. Alex backed off quickly.

“What is it, do you want to stop?” he asked, panic crossing his features, thinking he pushed too far, too soon.

“No, no,” Laf exclaimed. “I wanted to turn and lean against the wall so that I am sitting up.” Alex looked at him quizzically. “I want us to do this eye to eye. I want our first time to be as equals, and I do not want you to feel like because you are bottoming, you are less of a man than I am.” There was something deeper there that Alex couldn’t place, but he wanted nothing more than for Laf to enjoy this as much as he did, so he hopped off of Laf so that they could readjust their position. Laf leaned against the wall, and Alex clamored onto his lap, letting his legs fall on either side of Laf.

Alex leaned into Laf, eye to eye, lining Laf’s cock up to his hole. “Are you ready, Laf?” he asked sincerely.

“More than anything, Alexander.”

Alex sunk down onto Laf’s cock in one motion, sinking down to the base and burying his head in Laf’s neck, breathing heavily. “Are you alright, Alexander?” Laf asked.

“I’m great,” Alex huffed. “I just need a minute, it’s been a while.”

“Take all the time you need,” Laf murmured, kissing Alex’s forehead. Alex wiggled, adjusting to Laf’s size. It had been a while, and Laf’s cock was particularly _large_ to say the least. Alex took deep breaths while Laf carefully stroked his back, holding him close, cradling him like a treasure.

“Okay, I’m ready,” Alex hummed into Laf’s neck. He brought his head up, accidentally hitting Laf’s jaw. “Ow, motherfucker,” Alex hissed to himself, groaning at what would surely bruise overnight. 

Laf didn’t fare much better, hissing and rubbing his jaw with a pained look on his face. “You sure do have a really hard head, mon chou,” Laf grimaced, smiling to lighten the mood.

“I’ve been told that once or twice,” Alex joked, glad he hadn’t killed the mood. He grabbed Laf’s jaw, tenderly caressing where he had accidentally hit it.

He pulled Laf’s jaw towards him and lined his gaze with Laf’s as he began to bob up and down onto his cock. Laf moved a hand up from Alex’s waist and into his hair, pulling out the hair tie that kept his hair out of the way, allowing it to cascade in a graceful tumble down his head and neck. He wound some of it around his hand, gripping tight and forcing a keen out of Alex. Alex rolled his hips up and down on Laf’s cock, going down and twisting off as he bounced back up. He was a power bottom in every sense of the phrase. “God, Laf, you’re so fucking big,” Alex moaned.

“You are so fucking tight,” Laf gasped, giving what little thrusts he could from that position. He used his hand tangled in Alex’s hair to bring Alex’s face to his and press their lips together. They kept their lips together as Alex continued to ride him, exploring, basking in the freshness and newness.

Laf startled when a shiver ran up Alex’s spine, thinking Alex had hit something too rough. He began to try and pull out, but Alex was quick to explain. “No, that hit my prostate dead on. God, this feels so good,” he moaned. Alex found a rhythm and stuck to it, making sure he nailed his prostate with every thrust. Alex quickly approached orgasm, grunting “are you close?” to Laf while attempting to stave off his own.

“I am so close, mon chou,” Laf groaned, wiggling his hips up where Alex had slowed down.

“Can you come with me?” Alex asked, beginning to stroke himself between his and Laf’s bodies. Laf batted his hand away, replacing it with his own. He stroked Alex from base to tip, making sure to stop and tease the sensitive head of his cock. Alex redoubled his efforts as he got one of the best handjobs of his life while bouncing on one of the best dicks of his life. He came with a shout between himself and Laf, and Laf was quick to follow, burying himself to the hilt in Alex. They both panted, catching their breaths, and Laf gave Alex a huge smile. Once they had settled, Alex pulled off of Laf, careful to pull the condom off and discard it in his wastebin. Laf picked up his own t-shirt off the ground, sticking his hand through it and using it to wipe the mess of come away from Alex’s belly and clean up what little he could from the lube in the sheets.

Laf laid down in the center of the bed on his back, opening his arms wide for Alex to lay there. Alex laid his head on Laf’s chest and curled around him like a koala bear. He nestled his head in the crook between Laf’s shoulder and chin and kissed up and down the column of his throat. “God, you’re amazing,” Alex sighed. “Next time I’ll top for you.” He felt Laf tense under him.

“I-- I am not sure if I would be okay,” Laf told him tensely. Alex could feel Laf’s muscles tense and heart beat faster.

Alex was quick to soothe his racing heart, “Laf, it’s okay. Do you want to talk about it?”

“Not really,” he replied smally.

“Then we won’t. Plus, that just means more time that I can spend with your cock in my ass, which trust me, is not a disappointment,” Alex told him, smiling up at him.

Laf looked at him insecurely. “I just want to be enough for you.”

“Laf, I don’t know what happened, and we don’t have to talk about it until you’re ready, but you will always, _always_ , be enough. More than enough, even.”

Laf chuckled at Alex’s absurdity. “Thank you, mon chou, for understanding” he told him, pulling him in for a kiss. They fell asleep tangled together, excited about whatever was next.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @writerfreak2013 say hi


	10. When I Lay With You, I Could Stay There

Alex woke up in the morning, back against Laf’s chest. It seemed they had shifted in the night to where Laf was spooning him from behind, a death grip around his waist. Alex attempted to wiggle out from under Laf to go to the bathroom and retrieve a cup of coffee, but Laf only tightened his hold.

“No, mon chou, stay,” Laf murmured into his hair.

Alex replied, “I would, Laf, but I need to grab some coffee.”

Laf drifted his hand down Alex’s torso, carefully approaching where Alex’s cock had chubbed in his sleep. “Is there anything I could do to convince you to stay?” he asked, sultrily in his ear.

“I could think of a few things,” Alex gasped as Laf wrapped his hand around his cock.

“Is this one of them?” Laf murmured.

“One could make an argument in favor of it.” Alex gasped, leaning his head back into the crook of Laf’s neck as Laf began to stroke him from base to tip. He made Alex completely hard with his hand and began to stroke rougher. He tightened his grip on Alex’s shaft and roughly stroked the head of Alex’s cock with his thumb, gathering the precome that had dripped out of his slit and spreading it over the head of his cock.

Alex was writhing in his hold, not sure whether to drag himself away from Laf’s intense handjob or thrust his hips into it. Trapped with nowhere to go, he settled for a desperate whine. “Laaafff.”

Laf chuckled at him. “Needy.” He began to give Alex steadier strokes, pulling from the base to his tip and stroking back down. He removed his hand from Alex’s cock, causing Alex to buck away from him, trying to catch his hand. He roughly pulled Alex back to him, grabbing his hips and grinding them against his own hard on. “Stay with me, baby,” he commanded.

“Okay,” Alex breathed. He didn’t have a problem with staying under Laf’s determined command if this was the way it was going to turn out.

Laf returned his hand to Alex’s cock, giving it a quick stroke before going down to toy with Alex’s balls. He rolled them in his hands, squeezing them and making Alex squirm in his arms. He pressed his fingers into the skin just behind his balls, stroking his perineum. “Please, Laf,” Alex moaned, hoping it would get Laf to refocus his attention on his weeping cock. Laf, eager to please, returned his attentions to Alex’s cock, stroking him quickly until he was coming all over his hand.

Alex wiggled around until he was facing Laf. “God, where the fuck did you learn to give a handy like that?” he asked, once his heart rate had returned to normal and he had caught his breath.

“Ancient family secret,” Laf joked, and Alex gave him a skeptical look. “I am joking, mon chou.” Alex sighed in relief. “I really just masturbated a lot in high school, and it turns out when you are a man who wishes to fuck other men, the skills are transferrable.” Alex laughed at his explanation. He could still feel Laf’s cock against his leg, only semi-hard.

“Can I return the favor?” Alex asked, looking up at Laf through his eyelashes and bringing his hand down around Laf’s cock.

“If you must,” Laf agreed easily.

Alex wrapped his hand around Laf’s cock and stroked him to a swift orgasm, holding him close as he splattered across their stomachs. “We are going to have to take a shower later,” Laf told him, observing the mess and laughing.

“Don’t worry about it,” Alex told him, snuggling up to him and falling back asleep.

***

Alex sighed under the warm spray of the shower, glad to be cleaning off the evidence of two amazing orgasms. He jumped as he heard the shower curtain open behind him, ready to fight whoever had entered the blatantly occupied stall.

“No, no, it’s just me, mon chou,” Laf said hurriedly, pulling Alex to him. Alex settled into the arms that had grown significantly more familiar in the last twelve hours.

“We’re in a public bathroom, we really shouldn’t,” Alex murmured, making no effort to get rid of Laf though.

“There is no one else here to find us,” Laf whispered back, kissing the back of Alex’s neck where his head met his spine. He shivered under the kiss despite the warm spray around them. Laf leaned down to pull the shampoo bottle out of Alex’s shower caddy. He chuckled at the Johnson & Johnson baby shampoo he found there.

“What?” Alex asked defensively. “It smells good!”

“And I love the scent of it on you,” Laf replied smoothly. He poured some of it into his hands and rubbed them together. He lathered it in Alex’s hair, loving the feeling of the silky strands running across his fingers. He appreciated more than anything else that Alex trusted him enough to let him do this, to let him wash his hair while they were steps away from being found out by anyone who decided to walk in. He carefully rinsed the shampoo out of Alex’s hair, making sure he didn’t get any suds in Alex’s eyes. He bent down to retrieve the conditioner from Alex’s shower caddy, but he was unable to find it.

“Mon chou, where is your conditioner,” he asked.

“Oh, don’t worry about it, I don’t use it,” Alex responded, leaning into Laf’s touch.

Laf leaned away, mildly horrified. “You do not use conditioner?” he nearly shrieked.

Alex jolted away at the loud noise. “What the hell, Laf? No I don’t use conditioner. No need to shout,” he grumbled.

“I am very sorry, mon chou, I did not mean to hurt your ears, but do you know how damaging everyday wear and tear can be to your hair? Especially since you keep it in those rubber bands all the time? A good quality conditioner will keep it from breaking and make it much softer. And as the individual whose responsibility it now is to run his hands through your hair, I am prescribing conditioner.” Laf bent down and dug around his own caddy, pulling out an organic coconut oil conditioner, squeezing some of it out on his hands. He massaged it into Alex’s locks of wet hair, tugging at Alex’s hair in a way he knew he enjoyed. He ran his hands up and down Alex’s body while he waited the allotted time for the conditioner to have maximum effect.

“Laaafff,” Alex whined, growing hard under his careful touch. He grew steadily harder and more frustrated as Laf rinsed the conditioner out of his hair.

He laughed at Alex. “I will help you out if you admit that your hair is softer with the conditioner.”

Alex brought a hand up to his hair. He had to admit, his hair was extremely soft. “Yes, Laf it’s softer, please?” he requested.

He wasn’t sure what he expected, but he certainly did not expect Laf to drop to his knees in front of him. Alex groaned as he realized Laf’s plan. Laf gave Alex’s cock a couple of strokes before enclosing his mouth on the tip, moaning at the taste of Alex’s precome. Alex shuddered as the moans vibrated his sensitive head, and he let out a low growl as Laf sunk all the way onto his cock, engulfing him in his mouth.

“Oh, fuck!” he exclaimed, grabbing at Laf’s hair and bucking into his mouth.

Laf quickly pulled off. “My pace, okay?” he asked.

“Okay,” Alex agreed. “Can I keep my hand in your hair, or do you want me to move it?”

“You can keep it there, just don’t force it, okay?” Laf requested.

“Of course, of course,” Alex responded enthusiastically, immediately loosening his grip on Laf’s hair.

Laf immediately sucked Alex back down, sucking all the way down to the base of his cock. Alex gasped. Laf was correct, he was very surprised with what Laf could do with his mouth. Laf grabbed Alex by the backs of his thighs, keeping him close so he couldn’t squirm away, and he sucked, _hard_. 

Alex felt like he was getting the life sucked out of him via his cock. He resisted the urge to buck up into Laf’s mouth by moaning incessantly, biting his lip when he remembered their location.

“Jesus Christ,” he whisper shouted as Laf began to lave his tongue on the underside of his cock. He urgently tapped Laf’s shoulder, and Laf looked up at him through his eyelashes, refusing to budge from Alex’s cock. “I’m about to come,” he warned him. Instead of pulling off like Alex thought he would, he redoubled his efforts, sinking down to the base of Alex’s cock, the head hitting the back of his throat. Alex came with a shout down Laf’s throat, the sound echoing around the tiled bathroom.

Laf pulled back, swallowing clearly so Alex could see him do it. Alex pulled Laf up to his feet and crashed their lips together. He went to grab at Laf’s flushed erection, but Laf wiggled away. “I am saving that for later, mon chou,” Laf hummed, causing a shiver to run down Alex’s spine.

“Okay,” he breathed. Alex bent over and grabbed a washcloth, lathering it with Laf’s soap and beginning to return the favor by washing Laf. Laf hummed in satisfaction as Alex scrubbed away the various fluids that had dried on him during their activities of the morning and previous evening. When Alex finished, Laf pulled him in close, brushing his lips across Alex’s before reaching behind him and turning the water off.

“Shall we go, mon chou?” Laf asked.

“Ready whenever you are,” Alex replied, hating that he had to step out of Laf’s embrace to towel off and get dressed.

***

True to Laf’s word, they didn’t leave Alex’s dorm for the duration of the weekend except to accept food delivery and go to the bathroom.

That afternoon saw Alex on his back in the bed while Laf sat between his spread knees, fucking his fingers roughly in and out of Alex’s hole. Alex was squirming underneath him where he had a hand pressed into his hip, keeping his hips still on the bed. He pressed a third finger to Alex’s rim, teasing the sensitive, swollen skin there.

Alex keened into his touch. “Please, Laf, give it to me,” he begged, trying to sound demanding but really just sounding desperate.

“Hmm, mon chou, I do not think you are ready yet,” Laf teased, pulling out his fingers to apply more lube. Alex shuddered as he inserted the two fingers he had in him before, hearing the squelching of the lube. There was too much of it there, dripping out of him and down his crack, making a mess of the already disgusting sheets.

“Please,” Alex whined desperately. He was holding his knees open like Laf asked him to, not being grabby. He had only bucked up against Laf twice, he was being good, letting Laf take the lead.

“Mon chou, if I make you come now, would you be okay with me fucking you afterwards, or will you be too sensitive?”

Alex really liked that idea. “God, yes,” he moaned. Laf inserted a third finger beside the first two as he wrapped a lube-slicked hand around his cock. Alex groaned under Laf’s touch, unable to decide whether to buck his hips up into Laf’s hand to stimulate his cock or to grind down on Laf’s fingers, which were currently stroking his prostate. He let out a cry as Laf made him come, stroking him through his orgasm.

“So beautiful,” Laf crooned, as Alex fell apart under his touch. Alex gasped as Laf pulled his fingers out, leaving him empty. He was relieved, however, when Laf rolled on a condom and began to stroke himself with lube. Laf leaned over Alex, “Are you sure you can handle it, mon chou?”

“I’m positive,” Alex replied, flush with desire.

Laf lined himself up with Alex’s hole. “If it is too much, do not hesitate to tap out. Understood?” Laf requested.

“Understood,” Alex agreed. At Alex’s affirmation, Laf rolled a condom onto his cock and coated himself in lube, swiping the spare lube on Alex’s puffy, red rim. He slid the head of his cock into Alex, fucking shallowly. “C’mon, Laf, I can take it,” Alex urged.

Laf looked at him and reminded him, “My pace, remember?” Alex nodded his head in agreement, fine with whatever Laf wanted to do to him as long as it involved his cock. Laf plunged in and out of Alex, finding his prostate with sniper-like precision. Alex gasped in oversensitivity.

“Fuck, Laf, you feel so fucking good,” Alex whimpered. Alex clung to Laf like a koala bear to a tree, wrapping his legs around Laf’s waist and an arm around Laf’s neck and an arm around Laf’s torso, hugging him close. Laf was leaned over Alex on his elbows, fucking into Alex with his weight behind it.

“God, Alexander, you are so tight for me, so slick,” Laf moaned, bringing his head down to meet his lips with Alex’s. He groaned into Alex’s mouth as he felt his orgasm coming on. “Are you close?” he asked.

“So fucking close,” Alex moaned back. Laf balanced his weight carefully on one elbow and brought his hand down to Alex’s cock, beginning to stroke it eagerly.

“Come with me?” he requested, looking into Alex’s eyes as he came. Alex let out a cry as Laf forced another orgasm out of him, coming with him. 

Laf startled at the tears he saw pricking the corners of Alex’s eyes. He pulled out carefully and sat up before manhandling Alex into his lap and stroking his hair soothingly. “Was that too much, Alexander?” he asked worriedly.

“No, God no,” Alex laughed. “You’re so fucking amazing.”

“I do not want you to feel like you cannot say no,” Laf told him, pulling Alex’s head so that he could look into his eyes.

Alex could see the concern there. “Laf, I promise you, right here, right now, that I will tell you ‘no’ if I’m not feeling something. Okay?”

“Okay,” Laf agreed, bringing Alex to him so he could kiss him soundly. He still couldn’t believe that a mere 24 hours before, he had been worried about Alex not reciprocating his feelings.

***

A nap and some takeout food later saw Laf and Alex back at it again. This time, Alex was on his stomach getting plowed into the bed. Laf had Alex’s hands caught under each of his own, pinned up above Alex’s head as he rolled his hips into Alex’s ass. He delighted in Alex squirming beneath him, trying to get some friction on his cock through the sheets.

“Can you come from this? Just my cock?” Laf asked. Alex gasped in response. He was at a loss for words, arching up into Laf’s touch. Laf landed a stroke right on Alex’s prostate, and he keened in response, wiggling his hips in the minimal space he had between himself and Laf. Laf was pulling all the way out slowly and slamming back in, continuing the rough assault on Alex’s hole. “You did not answer my question,” Laf said, slamming back into Alex.

“Fuck,” Alex exclaimed in response. He was so thoroughly trapped between Laf’s hard body and the mattress. It shouldn’t have been easy to come, and there was no reason he should have been as keyed up as he was. Laf could thrust like a pro, but they weren’t experienced enough with each other to know that angle that came with familiarity. His cock was trapped between his own body and the sheets, a particularly soft and frictionless jersey cotton that was great for everything but getting off. He shouldn’t have been able to come, pinned to the mattress as he was, but he found himself keyed up, ready to go at any second. “Yes,” he decided. “Yes, I can come like this,” Alex choked out, unable to keep in the sob of pleasure that followed.

“Then do it, come for me, mon chou,” Laf encouraged, rolling his hips, giving slow and steady strokes to keep Alex at the cusp, not enough to come but enough to drag him to the edge and keep him teetering there.

“Harder, Laf, go harder,” Alex whimpered. “Please go harder.” Laf obliged, beginning to roughly pound Alex into the mattress. He squeezed Alex’s hand as he came into his hole, Alex following swiftly behind him, coming into his sheets. They rode out their orgasms together. Alex turned his head around, attempting to catch Laf in a kiss. Laf laughed at Alex’s boneless, sloppy attempt at a kiss, pressing his lips to Alex’s anyway. He pulled out of Alex and pulled the condom off, tossing it in the wastebin they had conveniently placed by the bed. he rolled them onto their sides, pulling Alex closer to himself.

“I am very glad you like it rough,’ Laf remarked.

“Oh I can take it _much_ rougher than that, if you’re into it,” Alex teased, curling up to Laf. They settled there, content to be in each other’s arms. Eventually, Alex began to squirm, upsetting Laf’s zen.

“What are you doing?” Laf asked.

Alex struggled to turn around in his arms. “I’m trying to turn around. Wanna face you,” Alex replied shortly.

“Here,” Laf told him, pulling away and opening his arms up for Alex to situate himself however he wanted. Once Alex seemed situated, Laf asked, “Now what was all that for?”

Alex seemed nervous. “I, uh, I just wanted to um, uh tell you…” he trailed off.

“What is it, mon chou?” Laf asked, genuinely wanting to know if something was upsetting Alex.

“I just wanted to tell you, uh, that I would be into doing it rougher than what we just did,” Alex stumbled over his words.

Laf replied carefully. “How do you mean?”

“I mean, like, I liked it when you held me down and got bossy and if you wanted to tie me up and stuff, I wouldn’t be upset about it,” Alex said shyly.

“You are in luck, Alexander. I would be very interested in tying you up, _and stuff_ ,” Laf teased, kissing the tip of Alex’s nose. “Thank you for telling me that that is something you are interested in.”

“Of course,” Alex replied easily, nuzzling into Laf’s neck. “We’ll talk in the morning, yeah?” he asked, yawning.

“Yes, we shall,” Laf agreed, pulling Alex close and falling into a dreamless sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @writerfreak2013, yo come see me


	11. Regrets And Mistakes, They Are Memories Made

Thanksgiving Break and the weeks that followed flew by in a haze of caffeine and sleep deprivation as Alex and Laf made it through their finals. Their sex lives mildly suffered from it since they only really had time to give each other hurried handjobs or blowjobs with the amount they were studying. Alex raised concern at this, wishing he and Laf could do more, but Laf was quick to assure him, “Do not worry, mon chou, we will finish our final exams, and then I will pound you through the mattress.” Alex couldn’t help but shiver at the prospect.

Alex was laying in bed napping when he received a knock on his door. He groaned, hoping it wasn’t another resident wondering if the building was closing over break. There were signs everywhere. It wasn’t. He opened the door to see Laf leaning against the door frame, looking exhausted. “I finished my final exams. Did you?” Laf asked.

“Yeah, I finished this morning,” Alex responded. With that, Laf shoved his way through the door, shutting it behind him. He pulled Alex to him, pulling him in for a sweet kiss, taking his time since they finally had it for the first time in weeks. Alex, eager to reconnect with Laf, pulling Laf back with him on the bed, pulling Laf on top of him. Laf tenderly kissed him, running his lips up and down the column of his neck. Alex leaned his head back, leaving room for Laf to kiss anywhere he wanted.

“I’ve missed this so much,” Alex murmured, sighing as Laf kissed the sensitive spot just below his jaw. Laf began to run his fingers up under Alex’s shirt, feeling the expansive canvas of skin there, and Alex began to realize just how tired he was.

“Laf,” he said, but Laf continued to suck a mark into his collarbone. “Laf,” he said more clearly.

Laf pulled off of him and looked into his eyes. “What is it, mon chou?”

Alex began to run his mouth, tumbling over his words. “Laf, I really, _really_ , want to do this, but I’m so fucking tired I don’t even think I could convince my dick to get hard. And honestly, if I to stay awake for longer than five minutes, I will actually start to cry, which I really don’t want to do, and I know you want this, but maybe we can do it later after we’ve taken a nap---”

“---Alex,” Laf interrupted to no avail. “Alexander,” he said firmly, shutting Alex up.

“Yes?” Alex asked in a small voice.

“I am so fucking tired as well, and I was really just doing it because I thought it was what you wanted.”

Alex didn’t know whether he laughed because he was so tired or just the utter ridiculousness of their situation. “Oh thank god,” he laughed in relief. He pulled Laf down onto the bed, curling up around him with his arm around his chest. “Can we just sleep?” Alex asked, kissing along Laf’s jaw.

“Absolutely,” Laf agreed, wrapping his arms around Alex in turn and pulling him closer. He placed a kiss to the top of Alex’s head before they fell into a deep slumber together.

***

It was a few days after finals ended, and most of the residents had cleared out for the holidays, which meant that Laf and Alex didn’t have to sneak around as much as they normally did. They were lounging in Alex’s room, Alex was reading a book and Laf was scrolling through Pinterest on his phone, when Laf broke the silence.

“I would like to take you on a date,” Laf said, startling Alex from his deep trance.

“Oh, yeah, that would be great!” Alex replied, already excited about the prospect of going out and doing something that wasn’t him just sitting inside the dorm all day.

“Alright,” Laf agreed. “I will pick you up in an hour.”

“Wait, where are we going?” Alex asked.

“It is a surprise, mon chou,” Laf replied teasingly, closing his laptop and walking towards the door. “I will see you in an hour.” He left the room with a flourish that Alex couldn’t help but chuckle at.

***

_Knock, knock, knock._

Alex went to open the door of his dorm, laughing at Laf’s formality. Laf could have easily just shouted his name through the door, but Alex enjoyed Laf’s gentlemanliness. Alex swung open the door to see a drop-dead gorgeous Laf holding a bouquet of sunflowers.

“Jeez, Laf,” Alex teased, “You’ve been holding out on me.” Laf had his hair pulled back in a bun with pieces falling around his face, giving him a perfectly tousled, casual look. He was wearing a pair of skinny jeans tight enough to make Alex want to faint and a button-up shirt that showed off his overly defined shoulders and arms. Alex was nearly drooling at the look that was topped off with Doc Martens and a wool trench coat. He had that high fashion European look in the bag.

He pushed the bouquet of sunflowers towards Alex, telling him, “I got these for you.”

Alex smiled genuinely, “Thank you so much, they’re beautiful.” Laf sighed in relief that Alex liked them. He sat on Alex’s bed while Alex finished getting ready. Alex was wearing skinny jeans with a t-shirt, snow boots, a warm fluffy sweater, and a large puffy coat. Laf had to laugh at Alex’s over-preparedness for the cold weather.

“You look so precious, bundled up like that,” he cooed.

Alex griped at Laf’s teasing, “It’s cold!” He knew Laf didn’t mean any harm by his statement though.

Alex tugged on his boots, grabbing his wallet and key before pulling Laf up off the bed. “Shall we go?” he asked.

“Yes, of course,” Laf replied, sticking his arm out for Alex to loop his through.

They had barely made it out of the dorm before Alex was asking questions. In reality, Laf should have expected that. “So where are we going?” Alex asked.

“It is a surprise.”

“What are we doing?”

“Also a surprise.”

“Am I going to like it?”

“I hope so.”

“How are we going to---”

Laf interrupted his question. “Alexander, let me surprise you.”

“Fine,” Alex grumbled, taking Laf’s hand and walking to the Subway. Laf pulled Alex onto the C train when it arrived, going downtown, and Alex wracked his brain trying to think of where they could be going, but he didn’t say any of it out loud, knowing that Laf was enjoying the suspense. When Laf pulled him off of the train at the Fulton Street exit, he had to worry. “Laf, you know I can’t afford any of the restaurants in this area.”

“I did not say we were going to a restaurant, Alexander.”

“Okay, but, like, _everything_ in this area is expensive.” Once they got out of the Subway station, Laf pulled Alex aside.

“Mon chou, I planned this date, so I will pay for it. When you plan a date, you can pay for it so that it is even. I promise it is nothing extravagant, I just thought it was something we would enjoy doing together. Alright?” Laf asked.

“Okay,” Alex agreed, following his gut and trusting Laf.

***

Alex found himself on a ferry going across the water, leaning into Laf as they watched the waves beneath them.

“Laf, why did you decide to go to the Statue of Liberty for a date?” Alex asked, curious as to why that was their first date rather than a traditional dinner and movie.

“Well, mon chou, I remembered that time that you were talking about how you had never been, and how you would like to go, so I figured it would be as good of a first date as any. Do you not like it?” he asked, concerned.

“No, it’s great!” Alex exclaimed. “I just didn’t expect it!”

“Oh good,” Laf replied, relieved. “Shall I tell you the real reason?”

“Of course!”

“It was built by the French.”

Alex snorted at his answer. He leaned back into Laf’s embrace. “I love it.”

They wandered around the island when they got there, taking way too many selfies with the statue. Laf even bought one of those foam headbands that you can get there, looking like a ridiculous tourist in the process. Alex and Laf were bantering about the ridiculousness of the hat while trying to take a selfie of themselves in front of the statue when a young woman approached them.

“Hi, I couldn’t help but notice that you two seemed to be having difficulties. Do you need someone to take your picture for you?” she asked kindly.

Alex was going to turn her down, but Laf quickly handed over his phone. “That would be lovely, thank you.”

Laf dragged Alex into his arms, pulling Alex to his chest in front of him. He rested his head on Alex’s shoulder for the photo, leaning in and pecking his cheek. The woman taking their pictures caught the moment, capturing the surprised joy on Alex’s face as Laf kissed his cheek.

“That picture’s a keeper,” the woman told them, handing Laf his phone back.

“Thank you very much, mademoiselle,” Laf told her, giving a short, ridiculous bow.

“You’re welcome,” the woman replied as she walked back over to her family. Laf found the picture in his camera roll and set it to his lock screen, and Alex rolled his eyes at the mushiness of it.

“What?” Laf asked defensively, “It is a cute picture!”

“Oh, come on, only boring people keep their significant others on their lock screen,” Alex teased.

“Well then call me boring because I am keeping the photo,” Laf replied, leaning down to kiss Alex soundly on the lips.

***

They got on the ferry back, and Laf pulled him over to the balcony of the boat so they could watch the sunset together. Alex leaned into the balcony with Laf behind him, curling around him to keep him warm. Alex pushed himself closer to Laf, chuckling in surprise at the erection he could feel in Laf’s pants.

“Need me to take care of that when we get home?” Alex asked, teasingly grinding on him. It was nearly dark and not many people were on the ferry, so a little bit of PDA wasn’t the end of the world.

“Actually, I was thinking about taking care of you first,” Laf said sultrily, stilling Alex’s hips. he really wasn’t helping him not get arrested for public indecency.

“Oh yeah? What’re you gonna do to me?” Alex replied.

Laf murmured to him, “Are you familiar with the stoplight system?” Alex’s breath hitched.

“Yes.”

“Good.”

They got off the ferry even more excited than they were before, and Alex wished they could already be back at Columbia to see what Laf had in mind. They started back towards the Subway, but Laf pulled Alex in a different direction, walking towards Tribeca instead.

“Where are we going?” Alex asked.

“You keep asking me that,” Laf teased. “Life is full of surprises, yes?”

“Yes,” Alex grumbled, still not happy at being kept out of the loop. They walked a couple more blocks before Laf pulled him into the doorway of an ornate hotel, walking into the lobby with a confident stride that only came with growing up in places like this. “Laf,” he hissed, “what the hell? We have a dorm a train ride away, and this is way too expensive.”

“Alexander, I do not want our first scene to be in a place where I do not have the tools to give you proper aftercare. Plus, it is free,” Laf replied.

Alex spluttered back, “What? Free? Laf how the fuck do you---”

Laf interrupted, “My family owns this chain of hotels. Do not worry about it.”

Alex just stood there shocked while Laf made nice at the check-in desk, getting the room free of charge. He sauntered back over to Alex, handing him a room key. “Go upstairs, Room 1109, and take a shower. I will run out and get supplies for the evening, yes?”

“Okay,” Alex agreed, grabbing the room key from Laf.

“Are you sure about this? We can go home if you would like,” Laf asked.

Alex contemplated nervously before deciding, “Yeah, I’m sure, let’s do it. We have the stoplight system if either of us gets uncomfortable.”

“Good, I will see you in a few,” Laf told him, kissing his forehead before leaving Alex in the hotel lobby.

Alex wandered upstairs to a room that was surprisingly simplistic for the elegant lobby he had just left. He stripped his clothes, leaving them in a pile in the bathroom floor before stepping in the shower to wash the grime of the day off of himself. He towelled off when he was done. He would have prepped himself in the shower, but Laf didn’t give him any direct orders to, and he wanted to be good for their first scene together. He pulled the sheets back on one of the two beds in the room and laid across it on his stomach, waiting naked for Laf to get back.

Meanwhile, Laf was looking on Yelp for the nearest sex store, which was surprisingly easy to find. New York City, he assumed. He walked into the store, looking around to decide what to get, not wanting to go too hard for their first scene. He settled on buying some lube, a small plug, a silicone ring, and condoms, figuring that those items would be a good start. He walked out of the store, opaque bag in hand, excited about his plans for the night.

He scanned the keycard into the room, and his heart nearly stopped at the sight on his bed. Alex was lying across it with his hair gently swept over his shoulders, lounging beautifully, relaxed.

“Oh mon dieu,” Laf murmured, catching Alex’s attention from whatever he was reading on his phone.

“You ready for this?” Alex asked, sitting up.

“More than anything,” Laf answered, sitting on the bed and catching him in a kiss.

Alex pulled away. “How do you want me?”

“On your back. Spread your legs,” he answered, and Alex adjusted accordingly, laying on his back and letting his knees fall to the side. “How do you feel about edging?” Laf asked, pulling the supplies out of the bag and laying them on the bed.

Alex’s breath caught in his throat, and he let out a moan. He hated edging, but loved the orgasm that came after it. “Green, really really green,” he answered breathlessly.

“Okay, good. Put your hands on the headboard, and do not move them until I ask you.” Alex followed the command easily, stretching his arms above his head to grab onto the headboard, leaving himself open and ready for Laf. “Remember the color system, green for good, yellow for slow down and talk, red for stop everything immediately.”

“Okay,” Alex agreed. He gasped when he felt a cool, slick finger at his entrance, simply teasing his rim. He squirmed, trying to get Laf to press a finger in, but Laf placed his other hand on Alex’s hip, keeping him still. Laf teased his rim until he was whimpering, and then slipped a finger in. He went straight for Alex’s prostate, causing Alex to let out a loud moan.

“Oh, you like that?” he teased, slipping another finger in alongside it and rubbing the pads onto his prostate. Alex twitched his hips up, a clear sign that Laf had learned that signaled Alex was close. “You are not allowed to come until I say so, alright?” Laf said, not really asking as much as commanding. Alex nodded widely, not sure that he could actually make words at the moment, much less an entire coherent sentence.

Laf pushed in a third finger, and Alex went boneless at the sensations. It was taking every particle in him to hold back from coming. Laf ground down on his prostate, forcing a bead of precome out of his cock. Seeing that Alex was inches away from coming over the edge, Laf pulled his fingers out and wrapped his hand tightly around the base of Alex’s cock, staving off his orgasm.

“Are you still green?” Laf asked, carefully easing off the tight hold on his cock.

“Yes,” Alex responded, pupils blown and desperate for more.

“Good,” Laf replied. He pressed his fingers into Alex’s perineum, probing for the spot where-- Alex gasped. “Found it,” Laf chuckled, pressing into the spot where Alex’s prostate could be stimulated from the outside. It wasn’t anything that could bring him close to the edge. It was teasing. Unsatisfying. Not what he wanted.

“C’mon, Laf,” he urged, rolling his hips up with the little range of movement he had. Laf returned his assault on Alex’s prostate, pushing his fingers back in and going straight for the gold. Alex’s gasp of surprise quickly turned into a moan of pleasure as Laf brought him closer to the edge. Laf began to stroke up and down Alex’s cock, teasing at the head with his thumb, pressing along the vein that he knew was most sensitive. He played Alex like a fiddle until Alex was panting underneath him, tears shining in his eyes.

“Fuck, Laf, I’m going to come,” Alex announced, and Laf pulled back once again.

“Is it alright if I put this on you?” Laf asked, holding up the silicone cock ring.

Alex agreed wholeheartedly, “Fuck yes.” Laf slipped the cock ring over Alex’s cock, sliding it all the way down to the base. Alex bucked up into the sensation. It was tight, constricting, it stole his breath away, but he loved it. Laf resumed his attack, fingering Alex roughly while stroking his cock, satisfied with Alex’s inability to come.

“Color check, mon chou?” Laf asked. He wasn’t overly concerned, but there were tears rolling down Alex’s face and a distinct sweat glistening across his body, not to mention the death grip he had on the headboard of the bed.

“I’m green, green, so fucking green,” Alex babbled, sinking into the sensations Laf was causing him. Laf continued torturing Alex until Alex went boneless and limp, breathless and wordless.

“Can I fuck you now, or do you need to finish?” Laf asked, pulling his fingers out of Alex’s hole and pulling his hand off of his cock.

“Fuck me, please please fuck me,” Alex whimpered, strengthening his grip on the headboard and trying to spread his knees wider for Laf. He wiggled his hips up, trying to be enticing, but really just looked like a squirmy eel, forcing a laugh out of Laf. Alex was not having it. “Don’t laugh at me, I just really need you to fuck me.”

“I know, I know,” Laf said, rolling a condom down his cock and slicking himself up with lube. The lube probably wasn’t entirely necessary given the level of prep that Alex had, but Laf wanted to be careful. He leaned over Alex and nipped his earlobe, whispering, “Are you ready, mon chou?”

“So fucking ready,” Alex whined needily. Laf slid into him to the hilt, knocking the breath out of him. “Can I touch you?” Alex asked. He still had his hands on the headboard, obediently.

“Of course, mon chou,” Laf replied. Alex wrapped his legs around Laf’s waist and brought his hands to Laf’s face, pulling him in for a kiss.

“Fuck, you feel so fucking good,” Alex moaned. Laf grabbed Alex’s hands from where they were tangled in his hair and laid them out on the mattress above his head. He twined their fingers together as he roughly fucked Alex into the mattress, in and out, in and out, relentless. Alex was begging for mercy by the time Laf was ready to come. “Fuck, fuck, Laf, please fuck me, god, I need to come, Laf, please.” Tears were leaking from the corners of his eyes, and he was panting in desire. He wanted to come so bad, but that damned ring was holding everything back.

Laf, finally satisfied that he had gotten Alex to break down and beg, answered “I will let you come if you do it untouched.” Fire ran up Alex’s spine, and he keened in need. 

“Fuck, Laf, I’ll do anything, just take the ring off,” Alex cried, grinding down on Laf’s cock with the little movement that he had where he was pinned under Laf. Laf reached under Alex and pulled off the ring. Alex flushed bright red with the rush as fire burned through his veins and he felt like every nerve ending was exposed. He pulled Laf in for a kiss as he splattered across their stomachs, coming completely untouched. Laf came in him shortly after, being milked by Alex’s spasming hole. He gently pulled out of Alex and rolled the condom off, tying it and tossing it in a bin. He was quick to return to Alex, who had rolled over on his stomach and buried his face in the pillows.

“Are you alright, mon chou?” he asked, gently petting Alex’s hair.

“Yeah, I’m great, I just need a minute,” Alex responded, barely lifting his head. 

He let Alex sit there, face in the pillow, stroking Alex’s back, murmuring softly in his ear. “My wonderful Alexander, you did so well for me, you looked so beautiful, flayed on my cock and begging for me.” Alex was unresponsive to his touches, and he took it as contentment. Eventually, he flipped Alex over and asked, “Are you ready to bathe, mon chou?”

Laf carried Alex to the shower, clinging to him closely. He gently scrubbed the evidence of their scene away, wiping away the come that had splattered across his chest and the lube between his cheeks. He stood eye-to-eye with Alex, washing his hair and tenderly rubbing his tear-stricken face. Alex minimally replied to his whispers of affection, only grunting so that Laf knew he heard him. Laf dried Alex off and carried him back to bed, electing to settle into the other bed since the one they used previously was covered in lube, sweat, and come.

Laf laid down, pulling Alex practically on top of him, and kissed the top of his head, ready to settle in for the night. Alex, however, could not seem to settle. “What is it, mon chou?” Laf asked, wanting to help Alex with whatever was bothering him.

“Nothing,” Alex mumbled. He wormed his way out of Laf’s grip and got out of bed. “I’m just going to sleep in the other bed.”

“Is there something I can do to make you more comfortable?” Laf asked. “The other bed is pretty gross from earlier.”

“No, it’s fine. I’m just going to sleep by myself.” Alex pulled the duvet up over the mess they had made earlier and settled on top of it, allowing the cool air to relieve his heated skin. He turned over away from Laf, unsettled in the tense silence in the room.

Laf was uncertain what to do. He was sure he hadn’t crossed any lines in the scene, but Alex still seemed overly upset. He turned over and fell asleep, wishing he knew something he could do to help Alex.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @writerfreak2013 on Tumblr


	12. I Will Leave My Heart At The Door

Laf awoke the next morning to Alex nudging him. He sat up, tired and vaguely confused. “What?” Laf said sharply, blinking his eyes, attempting to figure out why Alex was waking him up so insistently. 

Alex shoved a cup of coffee into his hand. “Here, drink up,” Alex ordered.

Laf took the cup and sighed in satisfaction. Alex somehow managed to create palatable coffee out of the shitty coffee and coffee makers found in hotel rooms. Laf noticed that Alex had pulled his boxers back on, so he made the sure he pulled the sheet up to cover himself, not really sure where Alex stood after the previous night. They sat in silence, basking in each other’s presence.

Laf placed his hand over Alex’s, leaning in and pressing a tender kiss to his forehead. Alex tensed under him. “Are you alright, mon chou?” Laf asked, stroking his sides.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Alex said despondently. He feigned well-being. To Laf’s surprise, Alex set down his coffee and climbed into his lap, turning around and sitting with his back to Laf’s chest, and sinking into Laf. Laf wrapped his arms around Alex, pulling him closer. He didn’t even want to be touched, let alone embraced at the moment, but he didn’t want Laf to think that he wasn’t into what they did the night before or that he didn’t like him anymore.

“Do you want to play?” Laf asked, stroking downwards towards the waist of Alex’s boxers.

“Uh, sure,” Alex replied. Maybe that would get him past whatever funk he was in. He squirmed, turning around in Laf’s arms. “What did you have in mind?” he flirted, going on autopilot. He wasn’t great at talking about his feelings, but this, this he could do. He could turn on the charm and be a perfect doll for Laf to fuck.

“Hmmmm,” Laf considered. “I bought a plug that I did not yet get to use on you, and I was thinking…” He paused to make sure he still had Alex’s attention. “I was thinking that I could fuck you, plug you, and not let you come until we get back from lunch. How does that sound to you?”

Alex bit his lip. “That sounds simply delightful,” Alex responded thoughtfully.

“On your hands and knees, babe,” Laf instructed, and Alex followed in suit. He prettily sat up on knees, bending over and digging his hands into the duvet, thrusting his hips and arching his back to present his hole to Laf, perfectly submissive.

Alex was still prepped reasonably well from the night before, so Laf went for a gentle and thorough prep rather than a teasing and arousing one, knowing that Alex wouldn’t be coming for at least a couple of hours.

Laf lined himself up, and Alex was begging for his cock. “Please, Laf, fuck me, please, just fuck me, I need it, I need your cock.”

“You are so desperate, mon chou, so pretty, with your desire for my cock knowing you will not even be able to come from it.”

“Please!” Alex sobbed, and Laf happily obliged, fucking into the hilt. Alex soon discovered that not only could Laf implement torture by pressing on his prostate persistently, finding it like a sniper finds his target, but he could torture him by tantalizingly stroking his prostate with his cock, really only hitting in intermittently, when he thought Alex was getting to comfortable.

Alex yowled as Laf fucked into him. It was taking every fiber in his body to not come on Laf’s cock. Laf’s teasing rhythm began to falter as he got closer and closer to coming, finally coming in Alex’s hole, but leaving Alex way too hard and entirely unsatisfied.

“Color check, Alexander?” Laf asked, rubbing his thumb into his hip.

“Green,” Alex gasped. “Are you gonna plug me or what?”

Laf chuckled at his enthusiastic response. He pulled the plug from its place where he had left it on the bedside table and pressed it to Alex’s hole. Alex canted his hips back, trying to get the plug in him. “Easy, baby,” Laf laughed, pressing the plug into Alex. the plug made a satisfying squelch, sliding into Alex’s hole and nestling there. Laf pressed on it experimentally, drawing a moan out of Alex. “This will be fun,” Laf hummed. He tapped Alex’s hip for him to get up and get dressed.

Alex bundled up in his clothes from the previous day, pulling on his sweater and jacket. They were headed out the door when Laf asked, “Are you sure you are okay to go out like this?”

“Positive,” Alex agreed, and they walked out the door together. This was nice. He was fine. _He was fine._ Right? His touchiness from the night before was just nerves. He leaned into Laf’s touch, throwing his arm around Laf’s waist as Laf stuck his hand in Alex’s back pocket.

_Possessive._ Alex liked that. Alex really liked that.

Laf delighted in a squirmy Alex as they sat in a small French bistro. The tablecloths were long enough that Laf had no issue with teasing Alex under the table, getting him to squeak inappropriately when he was attempting to order. By the end of the meal, Alex was burning red, and he was ready to go. Quick and hard. He was nearly climbing Laf by the time they left the restaurant, and Laf didn’t miss a chance to tease him.

While they were walking down the street, he would possessively hold Alex to him, letting his hand sit low on his waist, sometimes sneaking lower to rest on his ass. When he did that, he would press on the plug, pulling breathy moans out of Alex. At one point, he pulled Alex aside on a side road and kissed the life out of him, caging him in against the wall. It was the middle of the day, but they didn’t care. They both had spectacular orgasms to get through, annoyed business people be damned. It was New York, this wasn’t even close to over-the-top for New York.

Laf unlocked the hotel room, pulling Alex into the room and shoving him against the wall. “What is your color?” Laf asked before proceeding.

“I’m green, Laf,” Alex answered. “I’m so fucking green, just fuck me please.”

“Good,” Laf replied, going for Alex’s neck and sucking a bright purple bruise there. Alex threw his head back and moaned, giving Laf easier access to his neck. Laf bit marks down his neck, eventually pulling off his shirt so he could mark every inch of Alex’s chest. “You are so beautiful,” Laf told him after coming up from sucking a particularly bright spot on Alex’s collarbones.

“I would appreciate that a lot more if you would let me come.”

“Not yet baby,” Laf hummed. He stripped Alex of his pants and boxers before stripping himself. He pulled Alex over to the bed, and he laid down in the bed. “I want you to ride me, mon chou, does that work for you?”

“God, yes, green,” Alex replied, going to straddle Laf’s hips.

Laf reached his hand around to where the plug was nestled between Alex’s cheeks, and he pressed it at the base. Alex keened into his touch. “Did the plug prepare you enough?” Laf asked, wanting to make sure he was properly prepped.

“It’s good, I want to feel the stretch,” Alex replied. Laf pulled the plug out, resulting in a gasp from Alex. Alex lined Laf’s cock up with his hole and slid down, moaning at the stretch of Laf’s cock in his hole. He pressed his hands into Laf’s pecs as he began to bounce up and down, riding Laf’s cock like it was his god damn job.

“So good for me, so pretty,” Laf hummed, running his hands up and down Alex’s torso.

“Please, Laf, can I come?” Alex begged, desperate for release from the amount of time he had been waiting.

“You can come, mon chou, but I am not stopping,” Laf answered.

Alex didn’t care how long he had to fuck Laf, he just needed to come. “Fine, fine!” he exclaimed, “I’ll do whatever you want!”

“Then, come for me, mon chou,” Laf ordered, wrapping his hand around Alex’s cock and stroking roughly. Alex splattered across Laf’s stomach, fucking himself on Laf’s cock through his orgasm. He slowed down, panting, as the orgasm faded and oversensitivity set in.

“Can you keep going, or do you need me to take over?” Laf asked, stroking Alex’s cock slowly.

Alex collapsed in a limp pile on top of Laf’s chest. “Take over, please,” he gasped. He held onto Laf’s chest, digging his nails into his pecs, as Laf fucked into him from below.

“Fuuuuuck,” Alex moaned, as Laf began to hit his prostate spot-on every time. It was overwhelming, being fucked after coming, but the oversensitivity made him shiver with pleasure. Laf somehow dragged him into a second orgasm, and they came together, Laf coming inside Alex while Alex splattered more seed across his chest.

They came down from their orgasms, and Laf pulled out of Alex and curled him into his arms. “My good boy, you were so good for me, wearing the plug in the restaurant and waiting to come until I said you can. So wonderful,” Laf crooned, stroking Alex’s hair and rubbing his back. Alex squirmed uncomfortably under his touch, so he suggested, “We should go take a bath,” and Alex nodded his head in agreement. Laf took off the condom before he carried Alex to the bathroom and set him on the counter while he filled the tub, letting the water run warm and mixing some bath salts in the water.

Once the tub was filled, he cradled Alex in his arms, carefully sinking into the tub and holding Alex to him. He settled his hand low on Alex’s belly, gently rubbing the soft skin there. Less than ten minutes later, Alex broke the silence. “I need to get out of here,” he said shortly, seeming out of breath. He clambered out of the bath splashing water everywhere, not even bothering to get a towel.

“What is it, mon chou?” Laf asked, standing up in the tub to follow Alex.

“I just need to take a shower,” he said, going to turn on the water to an acceptable temperature.

“That is fine, mon chou,” Laf frowned. He tried to wrap his arms around Alex, but Alex nearly jumped out of his skin, pulling away from Laf’s embrace.

Alex still looked breathless and weary. “You know what? Just get out,” Alex said, holding open the door to the bathroom.

“What?” Laf asked, looking hurt.

“I need to be alone. Get out.” Alex felt like he was choking on his words, like he couldn’t force enough air through his lungs. He shoved a bewildered Laf out of the bathroom, slamming the door in his face and locking it behind him. He was overwhelmed, he felt like every nerve was on fire and there was nothing he could do to douse the flames. He leaned back against the door, sinking down until he was sitting on his butt and holding his knees to his chest. He let out a heart-breaking sob, and Laf could only sit on the other side, wondering what the hell he could have done.

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @writerfreak2013, air your grievances there


	13. And Kiss Me Back To Life To See

“Alex,” Laf said. It was around ten minutes in, and Alex was still audibly crying through the door. Laf leaned against the door and sunk down, sitting where Alex was on the other side. “Alex, I am freaking out right currently, I need you to talk with me.” He heard a choked sob through the door. “Alex, please.” He could hear sniffling and deep breaths.

“Laf,” Alex croaked.

“Alexander, I need you to tell me what happened, I need to know how I was wrong,” Laf pled.

Alex gasped for breath, “It wasn’t you, I swear it wasn’t you, it’s just me and my stupid brain.”

“You are not stupid, mon chou. Can you please open the door so we can talk?” Laf asked.

Alex didn’t know if he could handle it yet, so he replied, “Can we talk through the door? Please?”

Laf felt at a loss. “I just need to know what is going on, Alexander. Please?”

Alex took a deep breath and then word vomited. “When you hold me close and stroke me and whisper words in my ear it feels like you’re smothering me. It feels like everything is on fire and I can’t breathe because you keep talking to me and touching me and holding me and I can’t catch my breath and it’s all too much. Especially in a scene where I’m already oversensitive, I hate it when people touch me afterwards, it freaks me out and it makes me so uncomfortable, like I just want to crawl out of my skin. It’s when I’m vulnerable and open and then you touch me and it’s like every nerve is exposed and you’re flaying me alive. And then you keep saying these things about how the dirty talk in the scene wasn’t what you meant, and I know that. I know you don’t think I’m a slut or a whore or any of the nasty things you say to me and it feels patronizing. It makes me feel small and stupid, and I already know what it’s like to feel small and stupid. I spent years being bounced around the foster care system with people making me feel small and stupid, and I can’t go back to that. I got into fucking Columbia despite everyone who told me I couldn’t and I’m on track to be at the top of my class. I am not small and stupid.” Alex sucked in a deep breath. “I promise it’s just my brain and I’ll get over it.”

Laf’s heart broke at Alex’s confession. “Alex, I never wanted to make you feel any of those things--”

Alex interrupted, “--I know, and I’ll get over it, don’t worry about it.”

“Alexander, I am absolutely going to worry about it. Now let me finish.”

“Okay.”

Laf took swallowed a breath of air. “I never wanted to make you feel any of those things. In fact, I never want you to feel any of those things in the future. That is not what sex is about, that is not wat a dominant and submissive dynamic is about. I was caring for you like that because that’s how I wanted to be cared for, and I didn’t necessarily get it, and it felt horrible, and I felt worthless, and I did not want you to feel like that so I did the things I would have wanted, and I want to be enough for you.” Laf leaned his head back against the door. He fell in, nearly hitting his head on the ground before catching himself. He looked up to see a puffy and teary-eyed Alex standing above him. 

Alex walked over to the tub, plopped down in front of it and leaned back against it, not even bothering to lay a towel where he had splashed water everywhere. He tapped the space next to him, indicating for Laf to sit there. “Come here, sit down,” Alex told him, and Laf did as instructed. He shuffled over to where Alex was sitting, and sat a good few inches away from him, not sure where Alex wanted to draw the boundary. Luckily, Alex scooted over for him, leaning into his side and clasping their hands together. “I want you to talk to me about why you feel like you aren’t good enough for me.”

“I studied in the states when I was seventeen as an exchange student.” Alex was surprised to know that, but for Laf’s sake he kept quiet. “While I was with my host family, my host brother, um Nathaniel, he went by Nate… Anyway, he and I began a relationship. He was more of a, um, dominant type, and I took on the submissive role. He would fuck me, and then just leave like nothing had happened, he would not tell me that the things he called me were untrue. He would just leave me in bed alone, and I felt like I wasn’t fulfilling for him. He told me he loved me even though he kept me a secret. And I believed him.” Alex could hear the wavering in Laf’s voice, so he squeezed his hand in comfort. “I thought he loved me, but I was not enough for him no matter how hard I tried. I thought that the reason he treated me the way he did was because I didn’t deserve it.” Laf’s body began to shake with tears.

“Laf,” Alex interjected, coated with anguish, but Laf refused to look him in the eye. “Laf, look at me? Please?” Laf looked up at him, and Alex began to wipe his tears away. “Laf, I never, _ever_ , want you to feel like you aren’t enough for me. You are the most beautiful, wonderful, generous, ingenious man I have ever met. Don’t even get me started about how much I love your cock because we would be here for days.” That forced a laugh out of Laf. _Good_ , Alex thought. “You are so kind, and caring, and loving, and I hate that you being so attentive to me during aftercare makes me feel like it does. I hate that I can’t lay there and let you care for me like you do. And more than that, I hate that there’s some asshole out there that made you feel like you have to prove yourself to me, that made you feel like you are worthless, because Laf, you deserve more than that. You deserve every beautiful thing on this planet.”

“You deserve it too,” Laf said quietly.

“What?” Alex asked, unintelligently.

“You deserve it too. You should not feel like you are stupid or small or too sensitive after a scene. And I want to do right by you,” Laf told him.

Alex pushed Laf’s knees down to where they were flat on the floor, and got up and swung his leg over Laf, straddling his lap, and Laf stared at him in surprise.

“I’m feeling okay now,” Alex assured him. “I just wanted to be able to look you straight in the eye.”

“Okay,” Laf agreed, locking his eyes on Alex’s.

“Here’s the deal, after a scene, just let me be for 10-15 minutes. You can stay in the room, even stay right beside me, but don’t cuddle me and don’t coddle me. You can tell me how good of a lay I was or how tight I was, basically how good you felt, but no calling me good boy or cooing at me about the scene. Just give me a few minutes to reset and get my mind back into the right state. And then we can talk and clean up and take a bath or whatever you need to make sure that you feel like you aren’t hurting me. Deal?”

“That sounds doable,” Laf concurred. He looked up at Alex straddling his lap and couldn’t help but think, _God, I love this man._

“Good,” Alex said, going in for a kiss. “I’m very glad we sorted that out. And Laf, please tell me if you ever feel like you aren’t enough, and I promise you that I will shout from the rooftops how you are more than enough, until it sinks into your thick skull that it’s the truth.”

“I will,” Laf replied earnestly.

Alex’s heart surged and began to beat rapidly. He looked down at Laf like he was his world, and he realized that Laf had slowly weaseled his way into his life and was quickly becoming the most important thing in it. _Damn, I love him,_ Alex thought. He went in for a kiss, sealing his lips to Laf’s. He kissed slowly and tenderly, exploring his mouth like it was their first time. It wasn’t that they hadn’t made out before, but this was different. Usually they made out as a predecessor to some mind-blowing sex, but this was kissing without a destination, without a need to move on to something else. Their hands explored, but they didn’t go anywhere near their hips. Instead, Laf rubbed his hands up and down Alex’s thighs, let them feel across the expanse of Alex’s back, held him close by wrapping his arms all the way around Alex and hugging the opposite waist. Alex kept his hands on Laf’s face, running them across his hair and eventually landing with his arms wrapping tightly around his neck, holding him closer than what he thought was possible. 

They probably looked ridiculous to the outside world, sitting in the middle of a wet bathroom floor, leaning up against the bathtub, making out like teenagers while their faces were covered in tears, but they didn’t care. They had each other and they were going to move past this. That’s what mattered.

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> talk to me, tumblr:@writerfreak2013


	14. There's A Fire Starting In My Heart

The conversation they had in the bathroom floor was awkward and tiring, revealing and exposing, but it was necessary. They moved past it was a renewed vigor, it had made them infinitely closer. Christmas was upon them, and they had decided to go small, just staying in Alex’s dorm, similar to how they spent Thanksgiving.

Alex woke up to incessant poking in his side, groaning and flailing his legs, trying to get the disturbance away from him. “Go away,” he moaned, collapsing back into the pillow.

“Mon chou, it is Christmas!” Laf exclaimed, looking like a child who had just discovered a candy store.

“Yes, but it’s also morning,” Alex grouched. “And too early in the morning at that.” he blinked his eyes open to see a fully dressed Laf. “Wait you’ve already been somewhere? Babe, get back in bed.” Alex slid over from where he was in the center of the bed and held up the covers, giving Laf a place to slide into bed.

“Alex,” Laf said in a deadpan. “Get out of bed.”

“But Laaafffff,” he whined.

“I promise I will make it worth it for you,” Laf said, dropping into his lower register.

That got Alex up and ready to go. “I’m up!” he announced, hopping out of bed in only his boxers. “How dressed do I need to be?” he asked, stepping over to his wardrobe in springing steps.

Laf laughed at his enthusiasm. “You can just be there in your boxers, mon chou. I just wanted to exchange gifts.” They had agreed to go small, a $10 maximum so they wouldn’t have to discuss the money issue.

“Oh, cool,” Alex replied, lumbering ungracefully back to his bed and sitting up. He leaned over to his desk, grabbing his wrapped gift for Laf. He handed over the box, a rather sloppy looking wrapped box, but hey, it was the thought that counted. What Laf handed him was just the opposite, a meticulously wrapped box in colorful paper with a ribbon explosion on top of it. “I see someone’s been on Pinterest,” Alex joked, examining the box. “So how do you want to do this? Both open at once?”

“Yes, that would work,” Laf replied easily, sitting across from Alex in the bed. They both began to tear at the wrapping paper at once, shredding it and then ripping open the boxes. 

A gasp of delight fell out of Alex’s mouth as he pulled out a statuette of the Statue of Liberty, a reminder of their first real date and the city that he loved so much. “Oh my god, Laf, I love it,” he gushed, setting it beside the crystal cabbage he received for Thanksgiving.

A similar giggle of delight escaped Laf at the miniature Eiffel Tower he pulled out of Alex’s box. He gasped in surprise. “Mon chou! Where did you even find this?”

Alex blushed red. “Don’t laugh at me, but there’s this ridiculous trend in teenage girl’s bedrooms to be designed like Paris, so I went into a Claire’s.” That forced a peel of laughter out of Laf.

“I love it, Alexander. I miss France so much. Thank you.” He pulled Alex close to him and leaned in for a kiss.

***

The week after Christmas flew by in a whirlwind of dates around the city from ice skating in Central Park to going clubbing at an upscale place in SoHo to just laying in Alex’s bed and the various activities that entailed. On New Year’s Eve, they were in a conundrum.

“Alex, we should go to Times Square for New Year’s Eve!” Laf exclaimed, bouncing on the bed like a puppy.

Alex looked at him with a crazed look in his eye. “Laf, you cannot possibly believe that that’s a good idea. Do you know how many people go to that?”

“Um, a lot, I presume,” Laf answered sarcastically.

“Too damn many,” Alex replied shortly. “You could not pay me enough money to go anywhere near Times Square during New Year’s Eve. Plus, it’s already 5pm, we would have had to be there hours ago to even come close to seeing the performances.”

Laf looked downtrodden. “I still would like to go out tonight, if you could think of something.”

“Okay,” Alex agreed, “I’ll think of something.”

By 10pm they were on a C train going downtown. The subway was ridiculously crowded with people trying to get places for the New Year, so Alex and Laf were sandwiched against each other, not that either of them minded. Laf looked down at Alex and tipped his head down to kiss his forehead. “So where are we going?” he asked silkily.

Alex teased instead of telling him. “What is it you’ve told me? ‘Life is full of surprises’!” Alex mocked, in a teasing French accent.

Laf chuckled at his ridiculousness. “I guess this is what English calls a taste of your own medicine.”

“Why of course!” Alex replied, tilting his head up and kissing Laf’s chin. A large crowd cleared off at the Times Square station, and Laf and Alex were able to get some breathing room. About a half an hour later, they were headed under the East River into Brooklyn.

“Are you sure you know where we are going, mon chou?” Laf asked, looking concerned as the train conductor announced that they were crossing into Brooklyn.

“I think we might be lost,” Alex said, feigning uncertainty.

Laf responded in the most Laf way possible. “Mon chou, really? I asked you if you knew the directions before we left! And now you do not know!”

“Laf, chill,” Alex chided. “I was joking, of course I know where we’re going. We’re getting off at the next stop, in fact.”

“Oh thank god,” Laf sighed in relief. The train halted to a stop with a screech, and Alex grabbed Laf’s hand and pulled him out the doors. They walked up the steps of the station, leaving the warm subway for the biting wind next to the East river. Alex turned them around and began to walk them in the direction of the river, walking down to the Brooklyn Bridge Park. Laf gazed in amazement and awe at the Manhattan skyline across the river.

“I figured we could come here, and then we could still watch the fireworks and be out for New Years, without the hell of wading through Times Square,” Alex said nervously, hoping it was enough for Laf.

“It is perfect, mon chou,” Laf told him, pulling him in for a kiss. They stopped in a DUMBO coffee shop, grabbing cups of steaming coffee to carry with them to the waterfront. They clasped their hands together as they walked along the river, stopping when they found the perfect spot to lean against the railing.

“Thirty minutes until midnight,” Alex announced.

“That gives me the perfect amount of time,” Laf murmured.

Alex giggled. “For what?” he asked, even though he knew exactly what Laf had in mind. Laf turned Alex’s body to where his back was leaning against the railing. He caged him in on either side, leaning into his body. Alex looked up to catch Laf’s hungry gaze, leaning in to a perfect kiss. They lazily kissed, exploring each other’s mouths in the tranquility by the river, encased in their perfect corner of paradise. Alex’s phone dinged with a warning for five minutes until midnight. He pulled away from Laf. “Are you ready to ring in the New Year?” he asked excitedly.

“I could not be happier,” Laf smiled, kissing Alex’s cheek.

Alex pulled Laf closer, beginning to muster up the courage for what he was about to say while basking in the quiet and peace. “Laf,” he said, interrupting the silence that had fallen over them.

“Yes?” Laf asked, looking at him expectantly.

“I just wanted to, uh, tell you that I couldn’t be happier to start this new year with you, and I hope that we end it together, as happy as we are now. And I want--,”

Laf interrupted. “I love you,” he blurted, staring at Alex with wide eyes.

“Um, what?” Alex asked, quite stupidly, not expecting that to have fallen out of Laf’s mouth.

“I mean, I like you a lot and you are very great,” Laf said, beginning to stumble over his words, a look of panic flashing across his features. “I really shouldn’t have--”

“I love you too,” Alex cut in. Laf looked surprised at his response. “Laf, I love you too,” Alex told him, saying it more steadily.

“Oh thank god,” Laf exclaimed.

Alex chuckled at his sigh of relief. “How could I not possibly love you? You perfect. Beautiful. Smart. Talented. Kind. Gorgeous man.” He punctuated each of his descriptors with a peck to Laf’s lips. 

Laf couldn’t help but look down at Alex with wonder in his eyes. “I love you so, so much, Alexander. I cannot wait to begin and end this year with you either.” He glanced down at his watch. “Count down?” he asked.

“Of course,” Alex replied.

They counted down together, “Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one. Happy New Year!” they exclaimed to themselves.

The skyline lit up with fireworks, but nothing could compare to the sparks they felt in their hearts, the current that was passing through them with every touch, shocking them back to life. They stood there kissing, caught in their little frozen space in time, murmuring “I love you” against each other’s lips. With the passing time, their kisses became more heated, more passionate, and Laf began to grind his hips against Alex’s, happy to find that Alex was just as hard as he was.

“Shall we go home, Alexander?” Laf asked, the tone of his voice implying that the night was not yet over.

“Let’s go,” Alex agreed, clasping their hands together and heading back towards the subway.

***

They closed the door to Alex’s room behind them quietly, and like that, they were on top of each other, trying to hold each other impossibly close. They separated for a painful moment, pulling off their outerwear before reuniting.

He slipped his cold hands up under Alex’s shirt, causing Alex to hiss, “Fuck it's cold.”

Laf laughed before turning husky, “So shall I warm you up then?”

“Come here, you goof,” Alex teased, pulling him back and planting his lips on Laf’s. He took charge, thrusting his tongue into Laf’s mouth and fighting for dominance. He ripped a moan out of Laf before he pulled back, “Can I top tonight?”

Laf held his jaw and pulled him close, “I am still not ready, is that okay?” He looked at Alex unsurely.

“Laf, I promise you that I won’t ever do anything to you that you do not want. When you’re ready, that’s something we can explore, but until then, I am more than happy to have you just as you are now,” Alex told him.

“Thank you.” He planted a kiss on Alex. “Thank you, thank you, thank you.” He showered Alex in kisses.

“God, I hate that Nate made you feel like you can’t say no,” Alex said, pulling Laf in closer. “You are way too beautiful and perfect and deserving of love to have to feel like you can’t say no.”

Laf looked at him with tears in his eyes. “Alexander, I am afraid that if I wait too long you will not love me anymore because I cannot give you everything you want.”

“Laf, I promise there is nothing you could do that would make me love you any less,” Alex swore. He pulled Laf over to the middle of the floor began to pull off his clothes. He hitched his shirt up and pulled it off. He started with Laf’s hand, leaving an open-mouthed kiss on his palm, murmuring, “I love your hands, they make me feel safe when I’m holding them, or when you have them wrapped around my waist I know you won’t let any harm come to me.” He kissed the tips of each of his fingers, “When you have your fingers inside me I just want to shake in pleasure and joy.” He kissed a line up Laf’s arm to his shoulder. “I love when I can lay my head on your shoulder, it feels warm and cozy. I know that if I fell asleep there, you would stay still for me so I could stay sleeping.” He made his way to right over Laf’s heart. “This, right here, is my favorite.” He sucked a bright purple bruise over the spot. “I have never been lucky in my life, but every god damn day I thank my lucky stars that this heart belongs to me. That you have trusted me enough to hold it and treasure it. And that is the biggest fucking stroke of luck because I love you so fucking much, and you actually love me back. I love that I can lay my head on your heart and listen to the beat thrumming through your chest, and I know that that’s the beat that’s keeping me alive, not my own.”

“Come up here,” Laf croaked.

Alex got on his tippy toes and began to kiss away the light tears that were falling down Laf’s face. “I’m not done,” Alex murmured. “Can I finish?”

“Of course,” Laf agreed. Alex planted a kiss on his lips before continuing.

He dropped to his knees in front of Laf. “I don’t think you understand how beautifully sculpted you are.” He kissed each of the abs in Laf’s six-pack. “Like Jesus fuck, every time you take your shirt off, it takes my breath away.” Laf chuckled at him. Alex looked up through his eyelashes. “There’s that beautiful smile.” He pulled Laf’s pants and boxers down, tapping each of his legs for him to pull his feet out of them. He tossed the pants aside and bent over to kiss each of his ankles. He kissed up each of his legs. “I don’t really have much to say for your legs other than ‘holy shit’. You’re literally the most beautiful person I know.” He kissed up his thighs and sucked a mark into Laf’s skin, nearing his cock. “I think your thighs are actually strong enough that you could probably crack a watermelon or something? And I know that sounds ridiculous, but you have no idea what a huge turn on that is.” Laf giggled at Alex’s antics. Alex kissed the head of Laf’s cock, and Laf bucked forward. “Not yet, you’ll know exactly how much I love your cock later when I’m screaming for it,” Alex winked. He showered kisses all over Laf’s pelvis. “Shit, Laf, when you’ve got your hips pinning down mine it’s so fucking hot,” he murmured, running his tongue over the skin there. He tapped his hip. “Turn around,” he ordered, and Laf nervously turned around.

Alex began to thumb at the cheeks of Laf’s ass and placed a kiss on each one before standing up and holding Laf from behind, wrapping his arms around his middle. “Laf, I will not touch your ass until you are ready. And if or when that day comes, I promise you I will be nothing but loving and gentle because that’s what you deserve. Do not ever be afraid of losing me because you don’t want me to fuck you, because if never having sex ever again was what you wanted, that’s what I would do because I love _you_ , not your body. So until then, I will be more than happy to ride your cock and just stare at your ass. Okay?” He kissed the back of Laf’s neck, waiting for Laf’s response.

“I love you,” he answered, and that was enough.

“Do you still want to go tonight?” Alex asked, “Or do you want to just go to bed?”

“I need to feel close to you,” Laf answered, pulling Alex around to his front. “Is that okay with you?”

“Of course,” Alex answered. “How do you want me?”

“Well first of all, naked would be nice,” Laf smirked. Alex stepped back and began to pull of his shirt in a tantalizing tease, but Laf was not having it. He pulled Alex’s shirt up over his head before yanking down his pants and boxers in one move, leaving Alex naked in front of him. “Get on your back,” he ordered. Alex was happy to oblige, laying on his back in the middle of the bed. Laf spread Alex’s knees and laid in the gap, covering Alex completely with himself. “I love you so fucking much, Alexander,” he told him, staring into his eyes.

“I love you too,” Alex responded, with equal sincerity.

Laf kissed down his body, and Alex prepared himself for a mind-blowing blowjob, but Laf passed his cock and pushed his knees farther apart, sitting in the space left there. He canted Alex’s hips up. “I want to eat you out, is that okay?” Laf asked, staring up at Alex from blow.

“Fuck yes,” Alex moaned, throwing his head back against the pillow.

Laf began to tenderly probe Alex’s crack, sliding his tongue all the way from the cleft of his ass to the base of his spine. He took special note of the places that made Alex gasp, stopping and giving solid strokes and circling his tongue, making Alex shiver. “Laf, fuck,” he whispered, trying to thrust his hips up into Laf’s mouth, but Laf was quick to hold him in place.

“Still, mon amour,” Laf gently commanded. He moved to Alex’s hole, beginning to stroke it firmly while Alex squirmed under him. He swirled his tongue around Alex’s rim getting him messy, sloppy, pressing at it intently until the ring of muscle allowed him to slip past. Alex’s toes curled as Laf began to lap at his hole. He tangled his hands in the sheets, yanking at them in need, a sheen of sweat began to cover his body. He was needy, he wanted Laf.

“Laf,” he moaned. “Laf, please, I need you.” Laf pulled back from him, sitting back up and wiping his face on the flat sheet.

“Do you need me to prep you, or was my tongue enough?” he asked, beginning to lube himself with the bottle from the nightstand.

“No, it’ll take too long, I want you now,” Alex moaned, bucking his hips, trying to get friction where there was none.

“Okay, okay,” Laf agreed, as desperate for Alex as Alex was for him. He finished lubing his cock and rubbed the remaining lube on Alex’s rim, slipping a finger in to make sure he was stretched enough.

Alex moaned at the contact, “Jesus, Laf, just fuck me, please.”

Laf leaned over him, pressing his cock to Alex’s rim. “Are you ready, Alex?” Laf asked.

“So fucking ready,” Alex answered. He cried out as Laf entered him, sliding in all the way to his base. “Fuck, fuck, fuck,” he howled as the stretch began to set in. His grip on the sheets was so tight, his knuckles were white with the strain.

“Breathe through it, mon chou,” Laf coached, kissing all over his face. Alex was nearly panting with the exertion, and there were tears leaking out of the corner of his eyes. Laf began to stroke his cock, wiggling his hips to help ease Alex. “Do you need me to pull out?” he asked, concerned that Alex had gone seemingly silent.

“No, I’m great,” Alex panted. Laf looked at him skeptically but he was too desperate to care about decorum. “Please just start fucking me, Laf,” he cried. Laf began to slowly stroke in and out of him, pulling out slowly but then snapping his hips back in. He pulled Alex’s hands from where they were wound tightly in the sheets and covered them with his own, holding them down above Alex’s head. He snapped a particularly good thrust into Alex’s prostate and Alex nearly wailed, pulling his legs up from the bed and wrapping them around Laf’s waist, connecting his ankles on the other side.

Laf looked down at him as he thrusted into him. He looked positively wrecked, tears leaking out of the corners of his eyes, a sheen of sweat covering his face, his hair mussed in a halo around his head in the pillow, a red flush covering his entire body. “God, I love you so fucking much,” Laf moaned.

“Fuck, I love you too,” Alex gasped. 

Laf leaned down and connected their lips. “Are you ready to come?” he whispered against Alex’s lips.

“So ready, so fucking ready,” Alex exclaimed. Laf brought one hand down from where it was clasping one of Alex’s and began to stroke his cock, steadily stroking from base to tip. Alex gasped against his lips, falling apart in his arms. He wrapped his newly free hand in Laf’s hair as he began to come, bringing Laf over the edge with him.

“So beautiful, mon chou, when you come apart under my touch, I love you so so much” Laf moaned, thrusting himself through his orgasm, coming in Alex’s hole.

“Love you, love you, love you,” Alex chanted back, coming down from his orgasm.

Laf rested his weight on Alex as they came down from their orgasms. He pulled out tenderly, and Alex whined in need.

“What do you need, mon chou?” Laf asked, placing dainty kisses across Alex’s forehead.

“Plug me,” he asked, watching Laf carefully for a sign of disgust. “I want to keep you inside me.”

And fuck if that didn’t make Laf want to go at it again if he wasn’t so tired. He got up and walked to the drawer where they kept their growing toy collection and grabbed the plug he had bought for their first weekend together. He coated it in lube before sitting back where Alex still had his legs spread. He pressed it to Alex’s puffy, sensitive hole, sliding it in until the divot caught on his rim. “God, yes,” Alex moaned, wiggling his hips to adjust to the sensation.

Laf cleaned them up with some tissues from Alex’s desk, figuring anything that wasn’t covered with tissues could be fixed after they woke up. He laid on his side and pulled Alex to him, both of them sated and tired.

“I love you, Alexander,” Laf said, kissing his messy hair and wrapping his arm around Alex’s waist.

“I love you too, Lafayette,” Alex replied, pulling him closer.

They fell asleep arm and arm, knowing instinctively that they would end the year the same way they began it.

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @writerfreak2013, say hi!


	15. It's No Secret That The Both Of Us Are Running Out Of Time

Following the New Year, students began to move back into the dorm which threw a huge wrench in the amount of time that Alex and Laf got to spend together. On top of Alex’s increased responsibilities, they were also stuck back in secrecy, making sure they didn’t get caught so Alex wouldn’t get fired.

On one hand, it was frustrating, perhaps enraging at times, but on the other hand, secrecy was one of Alex’s bigger turn ons, so it had its benefits. That led him to where he was at the moment, vigorously knocking on Laf’s door.

_Knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock._

“RA ON DUTY,” he shouted, grinning at his plan.

Laf’s roommate answered the door with a bleary gaze. “Um, hi, can I help you?” he asked.

Alex continued his plan. “Listen, I’m going to have to ask you to vacate the room for the next hour or so. I have to have a discussion with Laf about appropriate residence behavior and the standards and policies,” he lied.

Laf’s roommate, surprisingly, did not have any questions about his blatant, and frankly confusing lie. “Um, okay, fine,” he answered. “Let me just grab my stuff.”

“Thank you so much,” Alex replied, grinning. “Brandon, was it?”

“Yeah,” he answered, grabbing his books and heading out of the room.

“Thank you, Brandon,” Alex told him charmingly. He slipped into the room as Brandon walked out, shutting the door behind him to see Laf smirking at him.

“Well that was quite inappropriate, Alexander,” Laf told him.

Alex smarted back, “All in the effort of secrecy, my dear.” He sauntered over to Laf and straddled his hips, rubbing his own erection against Laf’s growing one.

“Hmmm, that was still very naughty of you, and I think a punishment is in order,” Laf murmured.

Alex’s breath hitched. “What’re you gonna do to me?” he asked.

“Hmmm,” Laf surmised, “Perhaps I should just use you, and not let you come? Does that seem fair?”

“But Laf,” Alex whined. The main reason he showed up was to get off. He ground his hips down on Laf’s, trying to get him to understand exactly how desperate he was, but Laf wasn’t budging his stance.

“Are you green, mon chou?” he asked, instead of engaging in the argument.

“Yes,” Alex answered begrudgingly.

“Good,” Laf replied. He stuck his hand down the back of Alex’s pants, rubbing his fingers against his hole to find lube already there. “Oh, you naughty slut, you have been playing without me,” Laf teased, slipping some fingers in to find Alex stretched and ready to go.

“I didn’t want to wait,” Alex moaned.

“I can see that,” Laf smirked. “Get undressed,” he ordered, and Alex slipped out of his lap and yanked his clothes off, standing naked for him. Laf simply pulled his pants and boxers off and sat back on the bed, fully dressed from the waist up.

“How do you want me?” Alex simpered, swaying his hips in a way he knew Laf would find enticing.

Laf tapped his lap, sitting up where he was leaning against the wall. “Ride me,” he answered. “But trust my word, if you come from this, I will not touch your cock or ass for a week.”

“Fuck,” Alex groaned as he clambered onto Laf’s lap. He kissed Laf sweetly, hoping he could convince him to let him come. That was, after all, the reason he showed up.

“I know what you are trying, mon chou, and it is not going to work,” Laf goaded.

Alex grumbled nonsense in response. He grabbed Laf’s cock at the base and lined it up with his hole, sinking down until his hips were flush with Laf’s. He looked at Laf through begging eyes, giving a last ditch effort for an orgasm, hoping Laf would pity him and let him come. “Please?” he asked, fluttering his eyelashes and pouting. His pretty gaze turned into a bratty snarl when Laf laughed at him.

“That is not going to work, mon chou,” Laf taunted. He tapped Alex’s hip. “Now get to work, we do not have all day.”

Alex began to slowly ride him, pulling all the way off before sliding back on, riding Laf in the way he knew he liked best. Laf didn’t seem to think he was going fast enough, so he grabbed Alex’s hips in a bruising hold. Alex fell limp like a ragdoll in his arms, no longer using his energy to ride fuck Laf, but to hold his orgasm at bay.

“Fuck, Alex, you are so tight,” Laf moaned. He pulled Alex down, sinking his cock all the way into his warm, clenching hole, and came deep in him, biting on Alex’s lip to keep from shouting. Once his orgasm subsided, Alex slid off of him, still sporting a nearly purple erection.

“Laf, please?” he begged, but Laf simply laughed at him.

“I will consider taking care of it later, on my own time,” Laf told him. Alex nearly hissed at him, looking like an angry cat. “I am going to need you to go, so I can finish studying,” Laf told him, a steel face on nonchalance covering his features.

Alex snarled bitterly as he pulled his pants back on. “I am _not_ very happy with you right now,” he spit, glaring at Laf.

“But you love me,” Laf teased, pulling his own pants back on.

Alex’s features softened only slightly. “Yes, I do,” he answered. He gave Laf a kiss and left, hoping Laf would come by later.

Stumbling out of Laf’s room with a raging erection and kiss-bitten lips, it was a miracle he didn’t see anyone because there would be no mistaking what had happened.

***

Around 2am, Alex heard a knock on his door.

_Knock, knock, knock._

Hoping it wasn’t a student with an emergency, he answered the door in his boxers, obscuring his body from view using the door.

“Can I help you?” he asked, trying to insert as much annoyance as possible into his tone.

“I think the question is more if I can help you, mon chou,” Laf whispered. Alex smiled and pulled the door open further, allowing Laf to slip into the room. Laf was on top of him immediately, crashing their lips together and grinding his hips against Alex’s.

“What are you doing here?” Alex asked, whispering loudly even though the door had shut.

“I was coming to sort out your problem from earlier, but if you are otherwise occupied, I guess I could leave,” Laf murmured in his ear.

“No, stay,” Alex whined, returning to normal volume.

Laf tsked at him. “I will not be doing anything if you cannot stay quiet. What was it you said? All in the effort of secrecy, my dear,” he mocked, repeating Alex’s coquettish phrase from earlier in the day. Alex moaned instead of rebutting. Laf slipped his hand into the front of Alex’s boxers, wrapping his fingers deftly around Alex’s hardening cock.

“Fuck,” Alex hissed, leaning into Laf’s body. Laf caught him with his other arm, holding up Alex’s weight where his legs were starting to go limp.

“Come on, Mon chou, haven't you want this since noon?”

Alex seemed at a loss for words for one of the few times in his life. Laf stroked him steadily from base to tip, yanking at his cock on the rough side of too hard. Alex was groaning into Laf’s chest with his arms wrapped around his waist, trying not to fall to the floor. “Laafff,” he moaned, rutting his hips into Laf’s hand.

“Do you want to come for me?” Laf leered, looking smug, continuing to tug at Alex’s cock.

“Fuck yes,” Alex begged, hoping Laf would actually let him come this time.

Laf obliged his request. “Come for me, mon chou,” he commanded.

Alex spurted across Laf’s hand with a moan into his chest, covering Laf’s hand with come. Laf stroked him through his orgasm, growling in his ear, “Fucking desperate, coming into my room and making everyone leave, just so you can get some, making me come here at two in the morning so you can get your prick touched.”

Alex bit back a gasp, finishing his orgasm and falling limp into Laf’s arms. Laf picked him up and carried him over to his bed, pulling back his blankets and laying him in them and then pulling them back to cover him. Laf bent down to kiss him goodnight, but Alex grabbed the wrist of the hand that was covered in come, and pulled it to his mouth, beginning to lick him clean. Alex looked up at him through sleepy eyes and murmured, “Is there anything I can do for you?”

And fuck if that didn’t make him want to pound Alex into the mattress, but that wasn’t why he was there. “No, mon chou, I just came here for you,” Laf answered as Alex finished cleaning him.

“Thank you,” Alex hummed sleepily.

Laf bent down and kissed his forehead. “Goodnight, mon amour.”

Alex grabbed his head and pulled his lips down for a real kiss, giving him a sweet kiss before whispering, “Thank you, I love you.”

“I love you too, mon chou. Goodnight.” He gave Alex one last peck before leaving as quickly as he came.

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come say hi @writerfreak2013


	16. Let Me Down Gently

Luckily Alex wasn’t taking any January term classes, so he got to sleep in the morning of his birthday. He stumbled out of bed to see a note that had been slipped under his door in Laf’s careful French scrawl.

_Come see me after you wake up. Love you, Laf._

Alex followed the note to Laf’s door, knocking on it and hoping his roommate wasn’t there. Laf seemed to have prepared for the eventuality that Alex would be coming by, and he answered the door, welcoming him into the otherwise empty room.

“Good morning, mon chou,” Laf said lightly, kissing Alex’s forehead.

“Good morning, babe,” Alex replied sweetly, kissing Laf’s jaw. “You summoned?”

Laf grinned. “Ah yes, you received my note!” Laf exclaimed. “Hold on one moment.” He pulled Alex over to the bed and sat him down, and then he went over to his wardrobe and began to dig around. He pulled two beautifully wrapped boxes out of the wardrobe and handed them to Alex. “Happy Birthday, Alexander.” He pointed to the smaller of the two boxes and ordered, “Open that one first.”

Alex teared open the paper, unwrapping a nondescript cardboard box. He opened the box, gasping at what was revealed inside. His eyes lit up and misted over as he stroked the cover of a first edition of _The Autumn of the Patriarch_.

“Do you like it?” Laf asked nervously.

Alex picked up the book and opened it, revealing that it was a first edition in Spanish as well. “I love it,” he answered, darting towards Laf to give him a huge kiss. Laf wrapped his arms around Alex’s waist to steady him. He gave Alex his fun for a moment before pulling him back and handing him the other box.

“Open this one,” Laf told him, sliding the larger box over to him.

Alex tore at the paper, revealing another nondescript box. He opened the box and pulled out the items within, chuckling at the set of leather cuffs with a matching ball gag and silk blindfold.

“I see you were gifting to the both of us,” Alex joked, examining the cuffs carefully.

“We do not have to use them if you do not wish to,” Laf told him. “I only assumed with our recent activities, they are something you might enjoy.” Laf went to pull them back so Alex wouldn’t have to see them, but Alex was quick to yank them back.

“No! I want to use them!” he exclaimed.

“Good,” Laf replied in relief. “Can you be ready to leave in an hour?” Alex looked back at him confused. “I made birthday plans for you,” he answered.

Alex burned red. “No, Laf, really that’s okay, we don’t have to do anything special. The gifts were enough, it’s just like any other day.”

Laf vehemently denied his sentiments. “Today is about you, mon chou, and I would like to spend the day with you if you would agree to it,” Laf told him.

Alex knew this was something that was important to Laf, so he agreed. “Um, yeah, I’ll meet you outside in an hour?”

“Perfect.” Laf smiled and pecked his cheek. “I will see you in an hour.”

***

Two hours later they were walking in the door of another ornate hotel room, much to Alex’s chagrin, but if it got him fucked into the mattress, he wasn’t exactly complaining.

“Clothes off,” Laf ordered, after they had gotten inside and set down their bags.

“Are we doing a scene?” Alex asked.

“If that is what you wish to do, then yes,” Laf answered, giving Alex the choice.

“Yes,” Alex agreed easily, beginning to pull off his clothes. He stripped down bare, leaving himself naked in front of a completely dressed Laf. Laf pulled out the cuffs, cuffing Alex’s hands behind his back in the supple leather.

He held up the gag in front of Alex. “Since I am gagging you, hum “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” if you need to safeword, okay?”

“Yeah,” Alex agreed, opening his mouth for Laf to press the ball in, forcing his jaw open at an uncomfortable angle. Laf buckled the leather behind his head, leaving him wordless. Lastly, he grabbed the beautiful silk blindfold, wrapping it around Alex’s eyes and tying it off in the back. Alex was simply a vision, gagged and blindfolded for Laf.

Laf guided him over to the bed in the middle of the room, guiding him onto his knees with his head and shoulders in the mattress because of his cuffed hands. “Now, I think some birthday spankings are in order,” Laf announced as if Alex could speak back. “Nod if that is okay with you.”

Alex nodded vigorously as a rush of adrenaline ran through him. He arched his back, waiting for Laf to strike. Laf counted out the first three, they were a warm up, more to just test the waters and Alex’s responsiveness. For the fourth, Laf hit harder, delighting in Alex’s gasp. The fifth and sixth followed similarly, and Alex’s bottom became pink and flushed, heightening his sensitivity. After the sixth, Laf gave up any sense of careful control, beginning to rain blows down on Alex’s ass, covering his cheeks and upper thighs with handprints, counting as Alex sighed into them, a rush going through him with the pain.

“Seventeen, eighteen, nineteen,” Laf counted, finishing with a large smack right on the center of Alex’s ass. Alex jolted forward, moaning in pleasure as Alex began to rub his cheeks, soothing the skin there. Laf’s hand made it’s way down, wrapping around Alex’s cock to discover him achingly hard. “Oh, mon chou, did you enjoy that?” Laf asked. Alex nodded his head with the limited range of motion he did have. “Good,” Laf tutted, beginning to rearrange Alex for the next part of his plan. He flipped him over onto his back, trapping his arms underneath him and causing him to hiss at the sensation of his sensitive cheeks against the soft sheets.

Without warning, Laf sunk his mouth all the way down on Alex’s cock and sucked. Alex bucked up into his mouth, but Laf was quick to grab his hips and push them back into the mattress, and Alex let out a wild moan through the gag. Laf pulled back to the head of Alex’s cock, determined to get him to come from just that. He swirled his tongue around the head, sucking while his tongue circled Alex’s slit where precome was steadily dripping out. Alex gasped and keened above him, but he continued his assault. Alex came with a shout, spurting into Laf’s mouth. Laf leaned back and swallowed. “You have no idea how divine you taste, mon chou,” Laf murmured. Alex moaned wantonly, wishing he had a way to speak to Laf.

Before Alex could get too comfortable, Laf pressed two lubed fingers to his hole, slipping him in as Alex groaned beneath him. Wanting to overstimulate Alex, he went straight for his prostate, beginning to dig his fingers into that spot with sniper-like precision. Alex howled under him, bucking and twisting away in oversensitivity. Laf, however, reigned him back in, pressing his hips back into the mattress and adding a third finger. “Do you like that mon chou? Being fucked and stretched. Your hole takes it so well, taking two of my fingers without even a warmup. My pretty boy, spread open on my fingers.” Tears sprung to Alex’s eyes as the pads of Laf’s fingers ground into his prostate, so sensitive right after an orgasm. Alex’s cock seemed as into it as Alex was. He loved the feeling, being pushed past the limits of his orgasm, being forced to feel the rush of endorphins of pleasure and pain at once.

Laf grabbed Alex’s quickly filling cock and stroked him harder. Alex let out a strangled gasp under him. “Are you okay?” Laf asked, slowing down his strokes. Alex nodded his head, trying to think of another way he could reassure Laf, but Laf seemed to get it. “I want you to come for me mon chou, I want you to splatter across your stomach like a whore, coming twice in a single day, knowing you’re so fucking insatiable.” He resumed his rough handjob, forcing Alex to splatter across his chest as he hooked his fingers on his prostate. Alex was writhing underneath him, the sight could’ve been a birthday present for Laf instead. He released his hold on Alex’s cock and slipped his fingers out of his hole, and Alex squirmed, trying to chase his hands.

Laf reached up and unbuckled the gag, and Alex began babbling almost immediately. “Please, Laf, I need you to fuck me, please, I’ll do anything.”

“Do not worry, mon chou,” Laf hummed. “Can you roll over onto your stomach for me?”

Alex followed his orders easily. “You gonna fuck me from behind?” he slurred, rolling over onto his stomach with his arms still cuffed behind him. Laf pulled him up to his knees and he stayed face-first in the mattress.

“I do not want you rubbing your selfish little prick across the mattress. If you want to come, you will do it on my cock alone, understood?” Laf asked.

“Yes, Laf,” Alex groaned, trying to wiggle his hips back onto Laf. Laf pressed his lubed cock to Alex’s entrance, sinking him in one swift motion. Alex tried to push further back on him.

“Greedy boy,” Laf taunted, beginning to fuck in and out of him with wild abandon. “Do you like this, baby? Me fucking you into the mattress? Fucking you so hard you will not even be able to stand?”

Alex moaned, at a loss for words. With every thrust, he sunk further and further into the mattress until he was rutting against the sheets. Laf tsked in response, pulling him up by the hair until his back was to Laf’s chest. “What did I tell you, mon chou?” he asked, but Alex only gave a long moan in response. He yanked at Alex’s hair, pulling out a yelp. “What did I tell you?”

The words tumbled out of Alex’s mouth. “I can only come on your cock,” Alex said breathlessly.

“That is correct,” Laf replied. He held one hand in a death grip on Alex’s hair as the other wrapped around his torso, keeping him close. “I guess I will just have to fuck you like this so you cannot give into the temptation.” Alex groaned at Laf’s answer, throwing his head back and searching for a kiss. Laf gave into him, kissing him sloppily as he fucked in and out of him, more so just grinding into him at that point.

“I’m so close,” Alex whimpered against Laf’s mouth. He was trapped, so gloriously trapped, impaled on Laf’s cock. He couldn’t see, forcing him to focus on the sensation of Laf wrapped around him, the feeling of him beating down on his prostate after he had already come twice.

“Come for me,” Laf growled into Alex’s ear. Alex wailed as he came for the third time in less than an hour, splattering come across his belly and the sheets below them. Laf came in him shortly following, thrusting into him through his orgasm, filling him with his load. Alex couldn’t find the energy to complain that Laf had chosen a rather prominent place to bite down on, leaving a bright purple bruise on the side of his neck that would last for days. Alex collapsed in a boneless pile below him, into the mess of sweat and come on the sheets, but he didn’t even care.

“Fuck, that was good,” he hummed, content with how rough Laf was being.

“I am very glad you enjoyed it, mon chou,” Laf said lightly. “I will just uncuff you and remove your blindfold, and then leave you to reset, is that alright?” Laf asked, wanting to get his aftercare right.

“Sounds perfect,” Alex replied, allowing Laf to remove the cuffs and rub lotion into the marks they had left. Laf removed the blindfold, allowing Alex to adjust to the light of the room. Thoughts raced through Alex’s mind as he wove himself back together. Laf came back in about fifteen minutes with a washcloth, beginning to clean the come and sweat off of Alex.

It was unconventional, but it worked.

***

“Alexander, can we talk?” Laf asked. They were laying in bed, basking in the afterglow. Alex grew nervous immediately at those words, knowing they couldn’t mean anything good.

“Uh, sure babe, um, what’s up?” he asked, trying to remain casual, turning over towards Laf.

“What if we were to go public?” Laf asked.

“Babe, we’ve talked about this. You know we can’t. I’m your RA, so I can’t date my residents. I would get fired,” Alex replied, carefully, trying not to give away the nervousness he felt.

“I know, but I just feel like I am your dirty little secret.”

“Laf, you know it’s not like that,” Alex promised, running his knuckles across Laf’s cheekbone in an effort to soothe him. “You know how much I love you, and we don’t have to flaunt it in front of everyone for you to know that.”

“That is just what _he_ said,” Laf muttered.

“What was that?” Alex asked, jerking his hand back.

“Nate. That is exactly what he said. That he loved me and we did not need to be publicly out for me to know how much he loves me.”

“Laf, you can’t seriously be comparing me to him,” Alex deadpanned, rolling away. He sat up and leaned against the headboard. He began running the corner of the sheet between his thumb and index finger hard enough to rub a hole into it. “You cannot be comparing me to the man who fucking abused you.”

“I am not trying to compare you to him, I simply cannot help but draw the comparison.”

“Draw the comparison? Are you fucking kidding me? I am nothing like that asshole!” Alex said, his voice rising in volume with every word. “It’s not like you’re fucking faultless either, just throwing money at any goddamn problem you see, like you’ve never had to work a day in your sad fucking life.”

“How is that even your problem?” Laf asked, turning to the defense.

“Do you realize how emasculating that is? Every time we do something you just rip out your wallet and give me that patronizing, pitying look because you have money and I don’t and I know that’s not supposed to bother me or make me feel like less of a man but it does and it sucks and then you just toss money around like it isn’t important and act like your life wasn’t made any easier by having money,” Alex hissed at Laf.

“Well I cannot exactly help it if you are poor and I am not,” Laf growled back. “Excuse me for just trying to help you.”

“Help me? I’m doing just fine on my own,” Alex spit. “I’m not your fucking charity case.”

Laf had enough sparks in his eyes to light a million fires. “Well I am not your mental health, basket case, abuse victim either. You treat me like I am some fucking flower for going through what I went through and then you act like you do no wrong when you act like him.”

Alex rolled out of bed and began to yank on his clothes. “Well why don’t I just fucking walk out and leave you alone just like Nate did,” Alex bit back. He pulled on his shirt and grabbed his coat and duffle. “Happy fucking birthday to me,” he snarled, running out of the room and slamming the door before Laf could get another word in.

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @writerfreak2013 on Tumblr, yell at me


	17. 'Cause You Feel Like Home

They spent the next couple of weeks completely avoiding each other. Alex would walk down the hallway to see Laf approaching him, and he would dash across the hallway back to his room, pretending to forget something. Laf would bump into him in the coffee shop and just run right out, claiming that he was late for class.

By the end of January, Laf was tired of the scheme. He ambushed Alex as he was walking back from class, opening his room door and yanking him in before he could know what was happening.

“Alex,” Laf pleaded, looking him straight in the eye.

Alex glanced away, refusing to meet his gaze. “What do you want?” he whispered.

“For this to end, please,” Laf answered.

“Fine, we’re done, can I go now?” Alex asked sullenly.

“That is not what I meant,” Laf replied wearily.

Alex sighed, looking back at him. “Then what did you mean?”

“I mean I am tired of avoiding you, avoiding this.” He gestured awkwardly in the space between them.

“Well I don’t really know what to say,” Alex said truthfully. “I think we both said some pretty shitty things.”

“You are correct,” Laf mumbled back.

“I’m tired of avoiding you too.”

“I do not really know what to say.” They both chuckled at Laf’s answer.

“I really, really hate admitting when I’m wrong,” Alex bit out, looking like he was in pain. “I shouldn’t have said the things I said, and I’m sorry.”

“I am sorry too,” Laf murmured. He gave Alex a light smile.

“I know,” Alex responded. They both giggled at Alex’s answer. After the laughter died down, Alex looked at Laf. “Where do we go from here? I would understand it if you didn’t want to see me again after some of the things I said. I know we kind of left things up in the air, but if you wanted to break up with me, I would get it.”

“Is that what you want?” Laf choked. “If it is what you want, then I will walk away right now.”

“No, of course not!” Alex was quick to explain. “I love you and I want to be with you, but I was an absolute prick, and you don’t have to stay after that. I never want you to feel like you can’t say no to me.”

“I want to work through this,” Laf decided. “I cannot get over what you said right now, but I love you, and I want to be with you, and I want us to get past this.”

“Okay,” Alex agreed, and he felt like a weight had been removed from his chest.

Laf lunged forward, pushing the bag off of Alex’s shoulder and pulled him in for a kiss. “I have missed you so much,” he mumbled against Alex’s lips. He pressed his lips further into Alex’s, pushing closer to him, but Alex pulled back.

“I love you so fucking much, and I know I fucked up, and I’m sorry, I’m so fucking sorry, I don’t want to lose you,” Alex whimpered, tears falling down his face.

“You have not lost me, and I can only hope I have not lost you either.”

He brushed his lips back against Alex’s, pulling him closer, wrapping one arm tightly around his waist and winding the other hand through his hair. Alex tugged Laf closer in turn, tightly holding Laf to his chest. “You haven’t lost me,” Alex murmured, and Laf began to cry along with him.

Alex pushed back against Laf, walking them back over to Laf’s bed and pushing him down to sit, then straddling his lap. Alex kissed him harder, trying to nibble his way into his mouth and slipping his hands up under Laf’s shirt, but Laf pulled back panicked.

“I am not ready,” Laf mumbled.

Alex leaned back. “What was that?”

A flash of fear crossed his face. “I am not yet ready for that.”

“Fuck,” Alex replied, clamoring off of Laf’s lap and standing up, beginning to nervously smooth his clothes. Laf was shocked at the sudden movement. “Fuck, I don’t want to be like him, I don’t want to cross any boundaries.”

“No, it is okay,” Laf reassured quickly. “I want to kiss you, I just do not think I am ready to be intimate with you again.”

“Shit, yeah, that’s fine. That’s really perfectly fine. I would be here even if you never wanted to have sex ever again. Please don’t be scared to tell me if you’re uncomfortable.”

“Thank you,” Laf replied in a small voice.

“I love you,” Alex told him.

“I love you too,” Laf replied, and he suddenly looked exhausted, the several weeks of fighting finally getting to him. He laid down and patted the space next to him. “I do not know about you, but I have not been sleeping well since that night, and I could really use a nap.”

Alex kicked off his shoes and climbed into bed next to Laf. “I haven’t slept well either.” He laid down, laying his head on Laf’s chest and wrapping his arms around his torso. Laf pulled Alex closer to him and twined their legs together. “I love you, so, so much,” Alex mumbled against his chest.

“I love you too, more than my heart can handle” he replied, kissing the top of Alex’s head.

They fell asleep, peaceful once again.

***

They slowly rebuilt their relationship, careful to avoid the mistakes they made before. They didn’t want to rush things. In the effort to rebuild trust, they weren’t intimate, they would make out and then stop before things got too heated, instead choosing to spend time with each other in ways that didn’t involve being naked. They both began therapy, Laf to get over the issues that Nate had started, his insecurities, his fear of abandonment, his throwing money at difficult problems. Alex went to deal with his anger issues, his insecurities about money, his tendency to get combative in any argument. They went together and separately, and it was helping.

It was Valentine’s Day, and Alex was determined to give Laf an amazing date. He knocked on Laf’s door at precisely 4:30pm, dressed in nice pants, a button-up shirt, and a blazer. He was holding a bouquet of flowers in his hand, reminiscent of their first date when Laf gave him flowers.

Laf answered the door with a flourish, swinging it open and revealing himself in a beautiful suit, slightly fancier than one would wear to a business meeting, but not too fancy for a night out. Alex’s mouth actually watered at the sight.

“Um, I brought these for you,” he said, holding the flowers out for Laf.

“Thank you very much, mon chou,” Laf replied, grabbing the flowers and kissing Alex on the forehead. He walked back into the room, grabbing a cup and filling it with water, placing the flowers in them.

“Shall we go?” Alex asked, holding his hand out for Laf to take. 

They sat across from each other at dinner at some fancy restaurant that Alex had found that wasn’t ridiculously expensive. The waiter handed them the check at the end of the meal, and Alex swiped it and paid before Laf could get his hands on it. Laf just sat back and sincerely thanked Alex for the meal. They walked out of the restaurant hand in hand, wandering into Central Park right at dusk. They talked about nothing and everything, just happy to be back together and in each other’s presence, attached at the hip once again.

They came to the middle of a clearing when Alex pulled Laf aside. “Laf, I love you so much, it actually scares me how much, and you have no idea how thankful I am, every single day, that you were willing to take me back. And I wanted to tell you, you’re it for me. You’re all I need, and everything I could ever want. I know I’m only nineteen, but it’s been a long fucking nineteen years, and I feel like I’ve lived several lifetimes, and I am not sure of many things, but I am sure of you. And I wanted to tell you this because I know you hate being a secret, and I know that it’s exactly what your ex-boyfriend said to you, but I want to do everything in my power to make sure that you don’t feel that way, because I love you and if I lose you again, I won’t make it. And I know it’s Valentine’s Day and I might just be saying this because of that, even though I think Valentine’s Day is a capitalist holiday that enforces gender stereotypes, and--”

“--Alex,” Laf interrupted, but Alex continued to speak.

“--this probably doesn’t even seem authentic because of that--”

“--Alex,” Laf said louder, catching Alex’s attention.

“Yeah?” Alex asked sheepishly.

“I have something to give you,” Laf responded, pulling out a small box.

“Please tell me that isn’t a ring,” Alex said, suddenly looking ashen.

Laf chuckled at him. “No, it is not a ring. Open it.”

Alex opened the box, revealing a single key. “What is it?” he asked.

“I got an apartment,” Laf answered.

“What?” Alex asked dumbly.

“I got an apartment. It is off campus. I checked out the cost of your dorm at Columbia, and even minus your RA salary, it is cheaper, so if you would like to live with me you can when your contract is up. If not I understand if you are not ready. But I made the decision myself and I promise it is not me trying to throw money at our problems, and I still want to work through those with you, but I think it is more important that I am able to be open about myself and my love for you than to stick it out in a dorm for the sake of normalcy.” Alex was still stunned speechless. “Not to mention, my grandmere has been begging me to move out of the ‘filthy American dorms’ as she calls them, so she was happy when I told her I moved out.”

“You moved out of the dorm,” Alex stated, leaving more of a question than a statement.

“Yes.”

“I’m your RA, how did I not know?”

“I wanted to surprise you,” Laf answered cheekily.

“Well that is most certainly a surprise.”

“A good surprise?” Laf asked, looking unsure of himself.

“An amazing surprise,” Alex answered, leaping towards Laf and sealing their lips together. “And I will definitely, most definitely move in with you after my contract is up in May,” he said, pulling back to catch his breath before lunging back in, thrusting his tongue into Laf’s mouth. Laf kissed him back eagerly, stopping once they were nearly grinding on each other in the middle of the park.

“Would you like a grand tour of the apartment?” Laf asked, pulling back and separating their bodies for the sake of public decency. The tone of his voice indicated that more than just touring would be happening.

“Are you sure about this? We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to,” Alex assured him, searching his eyes for the answer.

“I have never been more sure of anything,” Laf answered. He grabbed Alex’s hand and pulled him along the path, roaming through the streets of the Upper West Side until he found the apartment building. He walked into the building and up the narrow stairs until he arrived at their apartment door. He unlocked the door, letting Alex inside before following him in. It was still mostly boxes and a couple of random pieces of furniture he had managed to find. The living room and kitchen were small and cramped, they didn’t even have a table yet. He vaguely gestured around, assuming Alex was aware of what everything was. It wasn’t much, especially by Laf’s standards, but it was enough for them.

Laf pulled Alex back to the bedroom. At the moment, it only had a mattress on some box springs in the floor with some sheets and a duvet, but they were both quick to divest themselves of their nice clothing, leaving piles in the floor.

“Are you sure you want to continue?” Alex asked, sliding closer to Laf and tilting his head up for a kiss.

“I am positive, mon chou,” Laf answered, leaning into the kiss. He walked Alex over to the bed and pushed him down on it, climbing on top of him as he went. He slid his hand down Alex’s torso and into his boxers, realizing that Alex was already completely hard. He laughed as Alex keened into him.

“What?” Alex asked defensively, “It’s been a while!”

“I know,” Laf answered. He leaned over to the side of the bed, picking up a bottle of lube on the floor while Alex shimmied out of his boxers. He slid a lubed finger into Alex’s hole as soon as Alex had his legs propped open, fucking it in and out of him before adding another finger and scissoring. Alex was moaning under him in no time.

“Fuck, Laf, I’m ready,” he groaned, grinding his hips down onto Laf’s hand.

Instead of beginning to fuck Alex, Laf added a third finger, spreading them to make sure he was prepared. “Patience, mon chou,” he teased.

“It’s been a month, I’m out of patience,” Alex griped. Laf chuckled at him before pulling his fingers out, sure that Alex had been sufficiently prepped. He rearranged himself and Alex to where he was sitting in the bed and leaning back against the wall while Alex was straddling his lap.

“As equals?” Laf suggested, knowing it was paramount to their relationship.

“As equals,” Alex agreed, looking him straight in the eye as he sunk down on his cock. He gasped, thrilled to be connected to Laf like this again. “Fuck,” he moaned, beginning to bounce up and down on Laf’s cock.

Laf stared at Alex with nothing but hearts in his eyes, looking at the beautiful man who was riding his cock. “God, I love you so much,” he moaned, hugging Alex as close as possible.

“I love you too, so fucking much,” Alex replied shakily. He was getting close to coming. “Fuck, touch me, please?”

Laf easily obliged to his request, bringing one hand from its position on Alex’s waist to wrap around Alex’s cock, stroking him from base to tip. Alex splattered across their torsos, and Laf was quick to follow, coming in Alex’s hole. They weren’t even embarrassed how quickly they came, that month had been way too long.

Alex pulled off of Laf, collapsing in front of him instead. “I don’t even think I could make it to the shower,” he giggled, feeling boneless from the effort.

“That is okay, mon chou,” Laf agreed. “We can just stay here for now.”

“Good,” Alex murmured sleepily. Laf curled up around him and pulled the duvet up over them. The dried come would be a bitch to clean, but he didn’t even care at that point.

“You are it for me too, you know,” Laf mumbled into his ear.

“Really?” Alex asked, seeming surprised that Laf was ready to admit that.

“Really,” Laf answered. “I love you, and you are it for me. And I am very glad that I am it for you too because I am not letting you go ever again.”

Alex nuzzled into him. “You’re all I could ever want or need. I love you so much.”

“I love you too, mon chou.”

Laf placed a kiss on his forehead and held him tightly. It didn’t matter that they had to get up in the morning or that Alex would still be living on campus until May. It didn’t matter that they still had a lot of problems to work through. What mattered is that they were there, together, where they belonged.

_They were home._

THE END

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I have some stuff that will be up soonish. Thanks for sticking with this story! Come say hi @writerfreak2013 on Tumblr!

**Author's Note:**

> Come say hi/yell at me on my tumblr @writerfreak2013


End file.
